Creating Safe Spaces

I really planned on working on my term papers that are due in t-minus three weeks. Yet I keep seeing things that pull my attention away from the papers. Sure, I probably didn’t need to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race this week, but it helps me unwind and switch gears. And I will admit that I should probably just turn off my FaceBook account when I am in crunch mode. The real distraction comes from various posts and articles I read where women continually get treated as outsiders in fandom.

What do I mean? I belong to various gaming communities on FaceBook where we share ideas about the game, as well as problems we encounter when running/playing. Recently, a female player was discussing actions in a game that were forced on her. Now, similar discussions have been had by male players and they are generally met with comments like, “I would talk with the GM and tell him that it wasn’t cool to force your character to do something like that” or “You should probably just leave the group, it doesn’t sound like it is a very good space.” Yet, this time, voiced from a woman, she was met with comments like “You shouldn’t whine so much” and when she voiced that she would probably kill off her character and leave the group, she received responses like “Killing yourself and ragequitting a group isn’t attractive.” The fact is, this player was expressing the fact that her character had been impregnated against her will, which amounts to rape, and rape isn’t attractive. When the player attempted to point out that the people making these comments were being sexist, they attempted to again silence her using shame tactics.

When I have seen various posts about the terror of white males in gaming, I have generally cast them aside. I fell into the trap of “This hasn’t happened in my games and it must be really isolated.” The reality is that MY games are really isolated. The games I have run with female players have generally been pretty great and I didn’t think they had really had any situations like this. In retrospect, I realize that one of my games did have a female player that felt uncomfortable and she left, though it wasn’t because of something that had been done to her character and more about how over-the-top one of the players was in his playstyle. As a player, I have certainly been in games where things like pregnancy has been forced on female players and it made me genuinely uncomfortable in the moment (and still bugs me years later). Because of the group I play with, we don’t have many people that play across gender lines, so I have been trying to think if I had ever encountered a male GM doing the same to a female character run by a male player—I can’t think of any. Even if there had been, it would have been equally frustrating, unless this was something we had agreed when we began or with discussion between the player and the GM.

I can’t know what it is like for each female player out there. I can only come at it from my own experiences as a gay male. After I came out, I always set my characters as gay at creation. Most games, it wasn’t discussed because we weren’t really exploring romantic or sexual situations in our game. When it did come up, the GM would just default that all characters are heterosexual and assume that all of us would be beguiled by them (which in and of itself is a terrible trope to use, but not the point of this discussion). Once they started to realize that my character was gay, they slowly started figuring out that perhaps male prostitutes should be seen in taverns, but it generally stopped short of the GM having to act out male-on-male flirtation.

In the game that saw our female companion get raped, the GM was very tactful with my gay character. The game was set in the 20s and he had spent time researching what gay clubs were like at this time. When we would have dream sequences and such, he would discuss both the happiness of me dreaming about my partner as well as the agony of nightmares of losing him. Certainly, there were plenty opportunities for this character to experience horrific torture and sexual assault at the hands of the cultists, but that line was never crossed with me.

Now, the important thing to consider isn’t just the ways that we treat women inside the game, where all too often they are treated as objects to be played with in ways that we generally don’t with our male companions. We also need to consider how we treat them in our community. I have tried very hard, especially as an adult, to make the gaming environment and geek culture an inclusive place. I remember feeling like I was the only gay gamer at our local convention. But, at no point was my identity as a gamer/geek questioned. I acknowledge that other gay gamers and geeks may have had other experiences, but I have generally been accepted into the boy’s club. But, I have watched as women have had to prove their geek cred, by discussing at length how they got into fandom and being tested about various games. When you watch the body language of the questioners, you can see they are ready to pounce on anything that they could use to discredit her. Or they make assumptions that her geeky shirt, “must belong to her boyfriend.”

We are cultured to be dismissive, which is rather unfortunate. This comment shouldn’t be read as affirming of male behavior, through justification. Rather a simple statement of how we tend to react. Our parents, mothers and fathers, dismiss our playing pretend and sometimes dismiss the way we are feeling as ways of helping us grow up. I dismissed the various posts by removing them from my feed or ignoring them without a real thought. Others have verbally dismissed women by trying to silence their complaints. But these dismissive actions serve only to perpetuate the problem. If someone like me, or you, dismisses this type of behavior, we can’t stand up for our fellow games. This means that we aren’t actively working towards an inclusive environment. Maybe we justify our dismissiveness because we don’t want to but it or we don’t want the negative attention we know we will get. When we do that though, we are resting all of the burden on the woman who spoke up and the negative feedback towards them is meant to silence them and force them to put up and shut up or get out of fandom. If we really want to put an end to this type of behavior and work towards inclusion, then we need to be willing to step up and help shoulder some of the attitudes people will throw out there.

While there are those that will read this as me taking up the torch of social justice. And perhaps I am, but I want to be able to be in a fandom where we are all accepted— a place where we can just connect with one another and enjoy the company and the awesome discussions that are possible when we gather with people with similar interests. It shouldn’t matter what gender or race you are or what your background is. While our little playful tests to see how much we have in common can be great, they shouldn’t serve as some sort of sorting hat that determines who gets to be included and who gets to be excluded.

I want to belong to a community where mutual respect is central. This means that we aren’t purposefully trying to create situations where we can make one another uncomfortable just because we can. And if we have made someone uncomfortable, they are empowered to tell us and we are respectful enough to accept the criticism and apologize. I know this part can be difficult. Sometimes, it can feel like the criticism is targeted at us and telling us that we are bad people and that hurts. Getting called out as sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, abelist, sizest, etc., can hurt. We may not realize that what we are doing or saying sounds like that because it isn’t our intention. Or maybe we don’t want other to think poorly of us. All of us ultimately want to be accepted. Labels that “Other” us hurt, which is precisely why we use them. That little face slap can be a good wakeup call. Too often, unfortunately, it can backfire and cause people to push harder against the issue and ignite bigger fires. However, another one our social methods of behavior correction can be beneficial when a person digs in their heels and refuses to change and escalates—avoidance. We don’t like to be cut off from things, but it can be better in the long run to cut someone off and isolate them than to give tacit approval of their behavior because we don’t want to lose friends or have difficult conversations.

Whether we want to accept it or not, white males (especially heterosexuals) have power in the community as a whole. For way too long, fandom has been a boys club. And certainly those of us that have been in it for a while have endured some knocks from people outside of fandom. They teased us and questioned our manliness for playing make belief. We have been torn down and Othered for this thing we are passionate about. Those of us who have experienced that, probably hated every minute of it. It sucks to be belittled. Some of us banded together even tighter because the community we created was a safe place for us to talk about fantasy, science fiction, and all of our favorite characters and games.

It may have felt like this special safe place was invaded when women and non-white men started to find their ways into fandom. But it wasn’t. We were gaining new friends that had the same things in common. Instead of recognizing kindred spirits, some of us recognized that we had the ability to turn the tables. The powerlessness we were made to feel by the “cool” kids was ours to inflict on these new folks. And in doing so, the much coveted sense of power and control was ours to take back. Somehow, in the moment, we forgot what it was like to be the Other--- we got drunk on the power and didn’t care. This was our domain and you needed to earn your way. But no one needed to. All of it could have been so much different. While we can’t change the past, we can damn well make the present a much better place.

It starts by speaking up. Now, speaking up doesn’t mean start a flame war and it doesn’t mean we need to troll everyone (my genuine apologize to any of my readers who identify as a troll). It does mean recognizing sexist/disrespectful behavior. Whether it is inside your game or in various real or virtual spaces where our community comes together, we need to speak up and help put an end to it. While most of this post has been directed at disrespectful behavior towards women, the same is true for speaking out against people being disrespectful towards people of color as well as all of the various diverse personas we find in our community.

Also, recognize that someone may interpret your action different than you intended and they may call you out for it. I know it can be difficult, but put aside your ego for a moment and try to figure out where the miscommunication came from and work together to create a safe space.

Be sensitive and recognize that sometimes folks just need someone to listen. Don’t try to justify what the other person did or said, but recognize and validate the experience. We may not understand where they are coming form, but we can probably find some sort of experience where we can relate. Clarify if the person needs back up or if they just needed to vent. Sometimes, once we get all of the emotions of frustration or anger (or other emotion) out, we recognize that we may have over reacted and just needed to get it out. But, other times we may need some back up to help us stand up for ourselves.

We may also need to recognize that folks who are feeling alienated need a safe space where it is just folks like them. So this may mean and all female-identifying group or a queer group. This gives them that same safe space that many of originally created in response to the experiences we had. Seeking or creating a group like this does not equate to sexist or racist or any other ist (including elitist). It just means that they want to have a safe space and they may not feel like they are getting that. Also, if your immediate reaction is that there needs to be a men’s only group, remember that we had it for a long time and there are groups within the community who are actively trying to make this a men’s only group. This one especially gets me as a gay man, because this mentality is the same as folks wanting straight pride celebrations or white pride marches. Support our friends who feel they need a safe space by empowering them to do what they need and that you are always willing to act as go between or work with them when the deal with the community as a whole.

We need to recognize that there is a problem. There is this pain in our community and we all need to work together to create an inclusive space. One where people of all agents, shapes, sizes, ethnicity, races, gender identity/expression, orientation, and really just all of the things that make us unique, can feel safe and enjoy the company of people who have the same passions in common. All of the things that make us unique mean that there are all of those great experiences that we can explore and play with in our games and all of the different backgrounds mean endless points of discussion. The problem isn't going to end over night. But together, we can make this right. 

The Shaved Chin: Cultural Imperialism and Gender Norms in Dwarves

William C. Riley

The International Conference on the Fantastic in Art

March 18, 2016

                       

            Before delving into the heavy topics of cultural imperialism and gender norms, I would like to reflect a moment on J.R.R. Tolkien’s essay “On Fairy-Stories,” where he shares that he discusses the nature of Fairy-Stories and Secondary Worlds— “Inside it, what [the story-maker] relates is ‘true’” (Tolkien, The Tolkien Reader 60). And it is this truth, within his Secondary World, that we should situate ourselves as we consider Tolkien’s Dwarves and their beards.

            From the Poetic and Prose Edda to Snow White, Dwarves have labored deep in the earth, carving their way into European folk traditions.  Tolkien pulled from these old stories when shaping Middle-Earth and crafted the prototype for Dwarves that continues to permeate fantasy literature. Instead of constituting them as simply humans of smaller stature, Tolkien created a unique race devoid of sexual dimorphism so common among various creatures in our primary, earthly, world. In “Durin’s Folk,” Tolkien describes Dwarf-women as “in voice and appearance, and in garb if they must go on journey, so like Dwarf-men that the eyes and ears of other people cannot tell them apart” (Tolkien, Lord of the Rings 360). This lack of sexual dimorphism produces a culture that challenges our semiotic understanding of beards and presents fantasy authors rich source material through which they can interrogate Western gender construction.

            Many fantasy works, unfortunately, have eschewed the opportunities presented by Tolkien’s prototype, and subordinated Dwarves by framing them into Western notions of gender. In doing so, Dwarven women in fantasy literature have been both literally, as seen in the comic Rat Queens, and metaphorically, in various other works, “shaved” of their beards. Often, this “shaving” is framed as an act of feminine liberation when, in fact, it is an example of cultural imperialism, whereby we, as authors and readers, impose our own understanding and ideals of femininity on this foreign culture.

            Under the auspices of Tolkien’s belief that fairy-stories should be presented as true, I will contrast the semiotic understanding of beards in EuroAmerican and Dwarven cultures. Through the use of ethnographic comparison on the effects of cultural imperialism on gender construction among non-European, I will also demonstrate the act of “shaving” the Dwarf-woman’s beard is an attempt to control and subjugate a race that outwardly appears queer, due to their lack of phenotypic difference between genders. By critiquing the beardless presentation of Dwarven women, I am also challenging future works to consider alternative ways non-hegemonic gender construction might appear in fantasy literature and to explore the meaning of gender in this unique race.

            As readers and writers, we need to consider our own, human, semiotic understanding of facial hair and consider how it shapes our reading of beards. As a secondary sex characteristic, androgenic hair is common in both men and women after puberty, though its placement will vary between sexes. In considering the history of beards, physician Allan D. Peterkin points out in his book One Thousand Beards: A Cultural History of Facial Hair, that the growth of a beard, along with the first shaving of the face, has been a rite of passage facilitating the transformation from boyhood to manhood since antiquity (Peterkin 63). At various times in history Peterkin notes the presence, and absence has been “a much required, enduring religious, political, and masculine symbol” (130) allowing us to clearly signal to others our allegiances and even our class standing. The shaving of someone else’s beard has been a declaration of war (19), as well as a sign of ownership (21) or defeat (20).

            Unlike men, however, Peterkin notes there has been “no historic edicts, laws, or papal decrees” governing the growth of female beards (98). Egyptian queens, like Hatshepsut, would wear “lavish fake beards of gold and silver” (17) during rituals and celebrations, and our myths and legends contain a select few women whose beard growth symbolizes “piety, sexual purity, or fidelity” (99). Despite the lack of formal laws, EuroAmerican culture, shaped by patriarchal influences, has suggested that female facial hair is unwanted and essentially non-feminine. Professor Elizabeth Grosz, in her paper “Freaks” points out that hirsute women have been categorized as freaks and relegated to sideshows to be ridiculed and mocked for the entertainment of others as a “problematized” intersection between sexes (Grosz 25).

            Unlike humans, Tolkien, in The War of Jewels, describes Dwarves as having “beards from the beginning of their lives, male and female alike” which changes the nature of their connection to their beards. Instead of being a sign of one biological sex or another, the Dwarven beard becomes a symbol of their innate Dwarf-ness and a cultural marker that sets them apart from Man or Elf. In fact, “this strangeness they have that no Man or Elf has ever seen a beardless Dwarf— unless he were shaven in mockery and would then be more likely to die of shame than of many hurts that to us would seem more deadly” (205). While shaving a human may function as an act of symbolic castration, the removal of a Dwarven beard is an act of hewing their spirit from their bodies.

            It is difficult, then, to believe that any Dwarf would visit such injury on themselves willingly. Yet, in the pages of the comic Rat Queens, we find Violet, the beardless Dwarf. When first encountered, (Rat Queens Vol 1, 12) it is difficult discern her race. Even when standing upright (14/1) she could easily pass for a young human female in comparison to her teammates, who are obviously elven and human, though the illusion of youth passes quickly as she points out, “We can sit around and bitch or we can make some monsters bleed. And my sword is hungry for blood” (16/2). Violet’s racial identity is finally disclosed in passing as the narration “[skips] past the part where Violet sang a Dwarven forest adventuring song of old” (22/1).

            In a flashback, Wiebe connects Violet to Tolkien’s prototype by providing a full image of a bearded Violet (Rat Queens Volume Two 57). In this flashback, after being consigned to model her father’s armor line instead of being allowed to fight in a tournament, due to the dictates of tradition (63/3), Violet meets a fellow Dwarf-woman who is shaved and permitted to fight (66/8 - 68/4), Violet decides to “fuck tradition” and shears off her beard (74) with her mother’s help (76).

            Violet’s shorn beard works, on terms that follow Dick Hebdige’s work with subculture, as a “construction of style, in a gesture of defiance or contempt” (Hebdige 3), but only within the confines of human cultural behavior. Acts of rebellion work within cultural codes set out by the culture being rebelled against, by creating norms and permissible avenues of defiance against them. While human males, whose interest in their beards may wax and wane depending on its cultural importance in time and place, Dwarven beards are a salient part of their cultural and racial identity, much like an Elf’s pointed ears. While Wiebe’s Dwarves may not “die of shame” should their beard be shorn, it is clearly a cultural marker, as noted by Violet’s mother during the shaving: “I remember when you first started to grow your beard. It was my proudest moment. The little girl becoming a woman” (75/5). Its removal is not just a refusal of tradition; it is also a denial of her racial identification and a rejection of her transition from girl to womanhood.

            Because of the stigma that would be generated from the act of shaving, it is difficult to believe Violet would readily remove her beard, much less get assistance from her mother. By ignoring the social stigma and treating it as no different than a contemporary adolescent human shaving their head or getting a tattoo, Wiebe is demonstrating the very EuroAmerican tendency toward cultural imperialism. Here the author, as representative of the dominant culture, is enforcing his own cultural norms and deviations on the subordinated, fictive, culture. Among human women, their choice to shave or leave their androgenic hair is a means by which they can claim authority over their own bodies, but they do so based on human cultural norms and expectations. Overlaying this action on a character from a different culture, albeit a literary one, and ignoring the implication of the action from their perspective is deeply problematic, as it carries with it implications that human norms are universal while utterly disregarding those of Dwarves.

            When examining ethnographic data collect regarding non-EuroAmerican cultures in post-colonial contact, a similar pattern is seen regarding gender construction and norms. Prior to first contact, many Native American tribes held cultural norms regarding both male-bodied and female bodied cross-gender people. In her book Gender Diversity: Crosscultural Variations, anthropologist Serena Nanda explains that at contact, Europeans “were filled with contempt and outrage when they recorded the presence” of cross-gender member, labeling them as berdache, “a term originally meaning male prostitute.” (11) By linguistically othering, these Europeans were expressing their disgust with actions they felt were abominable based on their own culture.

            In truth, cross-gender members of these tribes were not viewed negatively prior to contact. Nanda explains that “the association between spiritual power and gender variance occurred in most, if not all, Native American societies,” and highlights that “recruitment to the role was occasioned by a child’s interest in occupational activities of the opposite sex, supernatural sanctions, frequently appearing as visions or dreams, was also involved” (19). European cultural imperialism and the pressure on Native Americans to assimilate re-branded cross-gender members as repugnant, though contemporarily Native Americans are reclaiming their cultural respect towards gender variance and non-heterosexual members, using the term two spirit to describe them (Nanda 12-3).

            With our expanding exploration on the performative aspects of gender, it is time to use literature, regardless of genre, to explore its various methods of construction and interpretation. Tolkien provides fantasy literature and its derivatives with a unique race by which to do this, though this may not have been his original intention. Regardless of his intention, however, the lack of sexual dimorphism in Dwarves allows fantasy authors and readers to reconsider our expectations that gender and sex are directly linked to secondary sexual characteristics.

            An example of this exploration is presented in the Discworld books written by Terry Pratchett. In The Fifth Elephant, Pratchett explains “It wasn’t that Dwarfs weren’t interested in sex [...] it was simply that they also saw no point in distinguishing between the sexes anywhere but in private. There was no such thing as a Dwarfish female pronoun or, once the children were on solids, any such thing as women’s work” (42). Deriving from Tolkien’s prototype, Pratchett explores the nature of Dwarven gender norms through the character Cheery, or Cheri, Littlebottom and allows her to explore and establish how she will perform her gender outside of her Dwarven home. She was the “first Dwarf in Ankh-Morpork to wear a skirt” and she “retained her beard and round iron helmet, of course. It was one thing to declare that you were female, but quite unthinkable to declare that you weren’t a Dwarf” (43).

            While outwardly, Dwarves may appear queer given their lack of sexual dimorphism, they present a wonderful opportunity to explore the ways gender may be constructed and performed. Perhaps, like Pratchett’s, fantasy Dwarves don’t make any clear distinctions between the sexes in public. Or, perhaps their beards may act as a symbol of both their race and their gender, presenting authors the ability to create distinct methods by which different genders might shape, groom, style, perfume, and decorate their beards. Doing so would allow authors to pay homage to Tolkien’s prototype while also providing a space to interrogate our understanding of gender.

Works Cited

Grosz, Elizabeth. "Freaks." Social Semiotics 1.2 (1991): 22-38. Print.

Hebdige, Dick. Subculture: The Meaning of Style. London; New York: London; New York : Routledge, 1991. Print.

Nanda, Serena. Gender Diversity: Crosscultural Variations. Second edition.. ed. Long Grove, Illinois: Waveland Press, 2014. Print.

Peterkin, Allan D. One Thousand Beards: A Cultural History of Facial Hair. Vancouver: Arsenal Pulp Press, 2001. Print.

Pratchett, Terry. The Fifth Elephant: A Novel of Discworld. Mass Market Paperback Harper, 2014. Print.

Tolkien, J. R. R. The Return of the King: Being the Third Part of the Lord of the Rings. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2001. Print.

--- The Tolkien Reader, 9th ed. New York: Del Ray Books, 1979. Print.

--- The War of the Jewels: The Later Silmarillion, Part Two, the Legends of Beleriand. Ed. Christopher Tolkien. Boston: Boston : Houghton Mifflin, 1994. Print.

Weibe, Kurtis, J., Roc Upchurch, and Ed Brisson. Rat Queens Volume One: Sorcery and Sass. Ed. Laura Tavishati. Berkeley, CA: Image Comics, 2014. Print.

Wiebe, Kurtis J., and Roc J. Upchurch. Rat Queens Volume Two: The Far Reaching Tentacles of N'Rygoth. Berkeley, CA: Image Comics, 2015. Print.

Embodied Identities and Social Othering

I would never consider myself an attractive person, in general. Certainly there are people that find me to be, my husband being one of them, and I am thankful for that. But, I just don't see it. Our appearance is the first thing people judge when they see us. Even if we consider ourselves fairly open minded, our brain is studying the body as we come into contact. The body language we emote is being mirrored in the observer's brain and attempting to relate. We also spend a good deal of time looking at each other's faces and especially the eyes of another person. Whether we are conscious of it or not, our brain is attempting to classify, identify, and understand each other by looking at one another's bodies.

I saw a meme recently that really got me thinking about appearance:

This image bothers me because I identify more with the image on the left. Attractive, non-geek/nerds, have said similar things to me as I was growing up. But, at that time geek wasn't chic, so I am sure even if I was attractive I'd have caught hell-- probably more so because I was break attractive protocol and operating outside of my designated areas. Yet, now that we are in a world that has embraced the geek and is profitting from people's geekiness, here we find a terrible othering that is happening. 

I will not say that I am an absolute expert on cultures, but it is one of my areas of study. Biologically, we are more apt to be attracted to attractive partners as they are often more fit and our offspring will benefit from the coupling with such a person. Additionally, related animals (even humans) are more likely to be altruistic towards members who have high fitness. I suppose it is important to clarify that fitness in this sense isn't necessarily your ability to run a three-minute mile and then immediately go for a swim and then bike. But, rather fitness in this sense is actually our ability to produce offspring that will survive to breed and ensure genetic material is passed to subsequent generation. Altruism in this case, especially among related folks, helps ensure familial genetic information moves forward. But, what is beautiful and attractive cane be quite different from culture to culture and region to region. 

What is frustration, is that when something is not identified as beautiful culturally, we (at least as Americans) tend to reduce them, othering them and separating those who are not from those who are. These physical characteristics which we may or may not be able to change become part of our embodied identities. I was recently talking with a co-worker. She and her daughter had gastric bypass surgery done a year and a half ago and her daughter has had some startling changes happen for her. Since the surgery, this young lady has lost over 190 pounds and looks great. But, she still has her big girl attitude and has made the comment that she just could never be a "skinny bitch." For this young lady, her size had become part of her identity, yet now without the size, she retained the identity and attitude that had been forged from it. 

Being a person of size, people have often asked me if I had considered weight loss surgery as a way to get healthy. My immediate reactions are: just because you have lost weight doesn't make you healthy and currently, other than my testosterone serum, all of my numbers are fine. This includes my heart rate, blood pressure, and my body chemistry. I have thought about surgery and each time I remember I have spent 36 years in this body, it is part of who I am and how I see myself. Drastically changing it may not be the best for my mental health. 

In addition to my size, I also have noticeable psoriasis on my face, scalp, and ears. Each time I go to the doctor, usually the clinic on campus, I get the questions, "do you want something to help with that rash?" I explain that it isn't a rash and identify what it actually is. I previously was on medication for my psoriasis that made it less apparent, but with changes to my prescription coverage, this medicine is too expensive and I ceased treatment. We usually end up talking about alternatives and I explain that I am ok with the way it looks. I have dealt with people thinking that these red areas are sun burns or, worse, something that is contagious and treated like I am infectious, even after explaining what it is. But our preoccupation with the external causes many folks to question why I don't "do something about it." They feel that it is gross and, by extension, I am gross for just letting it be. 

Returning to the picture, we see two young women. Both with glasses and both with longer hair. The acceptable one is depicted as blonde and slim, even athletic. The othered is shown with red hair, which currently seems to be an "in" hair color even if gingers are socially discussed as soulless. The one characteristic that seems to make the young lady on the left "unattractive" is that she is a bigger girl. Admittedly, having her hair pulled back also conveys a look that suggest her hair is oily because of its sheen. We can't see enough of the left's clothing style, but it can be difficult to find "trendy" clothes when you are plus sized. Without being able to talk to the girl on the right, we don't know if she is poser-geek or geek for chic, but if we approach from the idea that these two are equally nerdy/geeky, with similar tastes in TV shows, video games, table top gaming, etc, then the only things that really differentiates them is a few pounds and the ability to find "attractive" clothes that flatter their body. Yet, these incredibly superficial things create a privileged identity for the young lady on the right and the other is a marked other, who is diminished verbally and socially othered and shamed. 

This doesn't just happen for women either. There is another co-worker who is animatedly into anime. During his breaks, he can be found pacing from the cafeteria to the cozy nooks near the books, cellphone to ear, talking about some aspect of his geeky interests. I remember one day, he was having a particularly loud discussion about Dragon Ball Z. The gentleman has dark hair that often looks greasy, glasses, usually some kind of unkempt stubble, nasalated voice, a shifting/shuffling gait that just adds to the perceived oddness of him. His clothing style is suggestive of thrift shop, but not in the Macklemore sense, but rather colors and styles that have fallen from popular and hispters haven't re-trended them. This particular day I became conscious of the ways I was internally othering him. The nasalated voice and his gait particularly affected the way I thought of him and I caught myself thinking this is what the world sees when they think of geeks. In that moment of awareness, I realized that I was doing the same thing that I wished others wouldn't do about me. And I wondered, if he looked different, would I think differently of him than I did in that moment?

We can't always control our thoughts, but I would challenge you -- just as I am challenging myself -- to try to be more aware of your thought process. How are you othering people in your thought and how would that be changed if they looked different? What do you normalize and what do you other? What modes of internal or external identity are privileged to you and which are marked and are cast out or aside? I know a few in my circle that will socially say that they see everything as equal, but you might be surprised when you take a step back. I have found that the people that are most interested in free thinking spend most of their time trying to get others to think like themselves, because they have privileged their own thoughts and others anyone who doesn't agree with them. 

Tygers in the Damndest Places

--> Literature can encounter us in the damndest places. The preset notion is it  is guaranteed to find us within the confines of a class, a library, maybe the Internet (when we close down Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, etc). My predisposition was that literature is there when I am looking for it. I never thought I would encounter it in the midst of watching cartoons. However, Fox Network proved me very wrong, though I would come to realize it until this week.

          While watching Batman: the Animated Series back in 1992, I encountered a strangely hypnotic poem that held fast in my mind. I can still hear Kevin Conroy, voice of Bruce Wayne/Batman in the series, saying the opening lines to William Blake’s poem “The Tyger.” I was thirteen at the time and had no idea who William Blake was, but the words: “Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright / in the forest of the night” haunted both my waking and sleeping dreams for years after.

            Twenty-two years later, I can’t tell you much about the episode itself. Those words, however, still give me chills. I have quoted the first couplet countless times over the last two decades and I was pleasantly surprised that the remaining line similarly spellbound me. I read it aloud to my partner several times over the last two days, trying to find the proper way to intone each syllable. I suppose, some part of me hoped that if I did it right, I might encounter a “tyger” of my own, forged wholly by the words set down by Blake 220 years ago (I also can’t help notice the similarities in the years since I first encountered the poem, and when the world first encountered it). Alas, no “tyger” has graced my apartment, or my car, or the hallways and byways I travel during the day. I still haven’t relented in my desire to find the proper method to read this poem. 

            I have to admit, despite my love for the English language and the methods by which it can be used to evoke emotions, images, and experiences that seem to transcend barriers like time and space, I have never held much enthusiasm for poetry. At times, I have found individual poems that will jump out at me and grab on to some part of my mind (or rather my heart or soul) and just resonate with me. And this is one such poem. Not only has it remained firmly engrained in my mind longer than many of my fellow classmates have been alive, it has never ceased to move my and excite my mind, heart and soul.  It reminds me to keep my ear out – whether I am watching a cartoon, surfing the ‘net, or talking with folks, Literature is out there and it will find you in the damndest places.

(Batman: the Animated Series, Episode 42, “Tyger, Tyger.” First aired October 30, 1992)

The Season's Upon Us ... It is THAT time of year

Admittedly, the title is stolen from one of my favorite Dropkick Murphy's songs and is about Christmas, but Con season is sort of like Christmas for the socially awkward. It is a time to gather together with your Con family and share far too little time with them. But the frantic-ness of the weekend seems to push you to create memories that last a life time with people who know you, love you, and accept you for all of your nerdy idiosyncrasies. I talked about the importance of the family we choose and their validity in an earlier post. And I can attest, my Con family are definitely part of my tribe. 

Before I get into the post itself, I want to invite any of you reading to come join the festivities. MisCon takes place this weekend (May 24 - 27) at Ruby's Inn. I know it is short notice if you weren't already planning to attend. Even if you are only able to attend for a single day, it is well worth the time and money to do so. 

I was inspired to write as I saw a post of the MisCon Facebook page. The poster was quite excited as this will be his first MisCon and several folk, myself included, talked about their first experience at this amazing convention.. It wasn't really the best format for me to talk about my own experiences, not only at my first convention but how much it has affected me. I suppose a sort of tribute to my Con home and the people that make it possible. These people are not only my friends and family, they are hardworking and dedicated to making MisCon an experience for everyone. 

It has been so long, I don't completely remember how old I was when I went to my first convention. I know I was over 18, as I was living on my own, and I was under 21 and unable to drink at the room parties. Honestly, that was ok for me, I was never much of a drinker. There was a group of us that had been playing a great card game called Highlander. I was the City Representative for the game and, by reaching out to some other nearby Reps, arranged for a Tri-Cities tournament at MisCon. We had agreed on the location as Missoula was the easiest spot to get to for the folks coming from Idaho and was mentioned by folks in Billings and Moscow, ID. 

A very good friend figured out the logistics and put together a hotel room for the group of us. We weren't able to secure a room at the convention, but it would work just fine. We figured out what it would cost for everyone (gas, hotel room, convention entrance, food) and split it up between the group of us that would be going. We all arranged our time off for the weekend and set about putting together our decks and playtesting them to be ready for the competition. 

Back then, I didn't realize just how shy I was. I knew I was socially awkward, but I never really felt shy. I had sort of developed a cover for it and had convinced myself that I was this very outgoing gent that was friendly and enjoyed the company of others. MisCon sort of destroyed the veil I had created. After getting our room situated at the other hotel, we went over to the DoubleTree and got registered for the convention. As I recall, the registration area was very close to the gaming room and my first feelings of anxiety hit when I walked into that room. It seemed gigantic to me, filled with tables. Around the tables sat gamers of every age and size, mostly males, enthralled by the game they were playing. Board games, card games, RPGs of all sorts and kinds were all around. The noise of excited chattering, intense scene descriptions, incoherent babbling, and frantic laughing made the air in there thick and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Someone, thankfully, gave my coat a tug and we busied ourselves with finding a little corner of our own.

Throughout that weekend, I just sat at our table. I had volunteered to stay put and watch the cards and bags while the others ran off to check out other games, various panels, and, most importantly, to get food for our little cadre of gamers. I busied myself with fiddling with my various decks and thinking of new strategies for the decks I saw in action by my competitors.

The very last night, around midnight, I finally was able to break away from the table. We had packed all of the cards away and would be leaving in the morning. I didn't have my tether to the table and I wasn't ready to go back to the hotel. I took my first pensive steps away from the table and farther into the gaming room. By this time, the wall of sound was a mere murmur and there were only a couple of tables with games going. I saw a group of people sitting down at a larger table and recognized one of them as Andy Mocko. He was a fellow DeMolay and was someone, beyond my own group, that I knew. He invited me to take a seat and told me they were just going to start a game. It was a card game called Vampire: the Eternal Struggle. I don’t remember actually playing the game, just eating the Pez that we used as blood points and laughing. I was actually having fun. I had so much fun in those few hours around that table that when we stopped by to wrap things up the next morning that I registered to come the following year.

I wasn't able to make it the next year, but the seed was planted.

When I moved to Missoula, MisCon became a bigger deal to me. At first, I came because I would get roped in to helping with the Registration table. For some reason, many people really don’t like working that area. It can be loud and the people can be a bit cranky. But I liked it. It gave me a table to be tethered too and a focus to my activity there. Add to this my uncanny ability to get people to laugh even when they are upset and it turned out that having me there worked out for all involved. When I wasn’t working the table, I would often run game demonstrations, with my husband, for Amanda at Muse Comics. Volunteering in one capacity or another has become the thing that I do at the conventions.

As MisCon has grown, it has evolved. I remember, when I first started to attend, feeling very alone at the convention. Being the only gay geek that I knew, I hoped there might be others like me at the convention. I didn’t find any the first couple years that I went. I did find quite a few people that seemed very homophobic but that doesn’t really stop me too much. If anything, people acting that way only makes me act gayer. I suppose it is an infantile response, but it is how I challenge people like that. And it worked. As time went on, the people that gave me problems stopped and started inviting me to hang out. Some of the folks that were the biggest haters have since become my best friends. In time, I did find other geeks like myself and have been happy to watch MisCon become a place where geeks of every orientation and persuasion are embraced and made to feel welcome. MisCon now hosts its own Drag Show as part of the festivities and it warms my heart to see this kind of acceptance in the community that I love.

I have had a chance to visit other conventions like RadCon in Tri-Cities, WA; SpoCon in Spokane, WA, and NorWestCon in Seattle, WA. Each of them are great conventions in their own right, but none of them are quite like MisCon. Even though my social anxiety still triggers when I am at MisCon, it usually only lasts for the first day or comes and goes throughout. It is not quite as debilitating as it was in those first few years I started to attend. The greatest part is that I have so many friends and family members at the Con that can help me work through it that I can generally have a very enjoyable weekend.

          Having a chance to volunteer year after year for MisCon has allowed me to also meet the Inner Circle; those crazy and dedicated folks that make this all work. I had no idea how much work goes into making a given convention a success. It really does take all year to put a successful convention together. Add to that, it may take a couple years to court a guest and get the logistics for getting them there. Throughout the weekend, many of them sacrifice time gaming or attending panels to make sure that everyone has an enjoyable time. For all of their hard work, I would like to thank the ConCom and the Security Team. These folks are truly amazing. 

Player Versus Story

As mentioned in a previous post, I am working on a game I can run at conventions this year. It got me thinking about story/game content versus what players want. I have been putting together my own stories almost since I started playing this game. I guess, as a writer, I enjoy creating worlds and watching people play in them.

Don't get me wrong. I do like published games. They are nice jump off spots or fillers. I am just not a fan of full campaigns that are pre-published. I feel they are too restrictive. Maybe that is just because I tend to run for players that like to think outside of the box. I remember running my first published game. I was completely unprepared for where my players took the story.

However, I have played in GM crafted games where the ability to get outside of the box is not possible. They thwart any attempt to go outside of the parameters of their story. This is such a boring approach to gaming for me.

GM: "You are in a square room. Each wall contains a door. What do you do?"

Players: "Try a door."

GM: "Which one?"

Players: pointing at the map "Umm, this one."

GM: "It is locked"

Players: "Split up, Fighter, try the doors. Rogue check for traps and lock mechanisms. The rest of us canvas and look for keys"

GM: "The fighter finds that all of them are locked except this one." points at the map. "Your search reveals no keys or other contraptions for unlocking the other doors."

Rogue Player: "I attempt to pick the lock of this one" points at map

GM: "After several attempts, you are unable to properly pick the lock"

Players: "Clearly there is something cool behind these other doors, but apparently he," points at the GM, "wants us to go here."

I suppose for some people, this type of game is appealing. I don't think I have ever met these people. But my guess is that they do exist somewhere in the known universe.

There will be times when the GM does have to rope the players back into the "reality" of the story so that they don't go off of the deep end. However, the way that your players react to a situation can give you insight into the kind of story they want to play in. In fact, this is how I tend to use published material. Use it as a starting point and see how the characters react. What story elements do they gravitate towards? What NPCs seems most interesting to them? What story are they telling amongst themselves about who they are and where they want to go? From there, I can use these ideas to plot further down the line.

I try not to plan too far out. A couple of chapters fully scene-ed with notes for where I think it is going or what elements I would like to bring to the table. Players are fickle. And the last thing I want to do is spend all my free time between games crafting story elements that will never see play. Or writing the whole story based solely on how they react/play during the first couple of "chapters."

This is again where I vary from some folks I have played with. I have been in the game where the GM has spent a great deal of time crafting what they feel is an amazing story. And when you first start playing, you groove with the style. As your character grows and develops, the story has less and less to do with where you are going in life. But you are trapped in it. I have even suggested downtime things that my player would be interested in and been ignored as it is not part of the story they want to tell. I probably should have left the game at that point. But I liked the people so I tolerated it.

What all of this comes down to is really just some advice. If you are a GM, do not buy into the idea that you are god. You may have spent quite a bit of you time refining your story. But remember, that the characters are driven by intelligent people. They will grow and develop just like real people and what was fun for them at the start may not be where they are now. Don't force your story on your players. Let it grow and develop with them. It will be more enjoyable for both of you in the end.

How Gaming Is Helping Me

Lately, I have been thinking of resurrecting my ideas of a Mage: the Ascension game. The urge to craft a story and run it for some folks has been building up since MisCon. Unfortunately, I do not currently have a game group. My former group of players split up a year or so ago. However, my lack of players has not qwelled my interest in putting together a game.

There will be opportunities to run it, I suppose. Right now, I am crafting a one-shot game to kick the story off. I suppose I could run it at one of the game days here in Missoula or take it with me to the Great Falls Gaming Rendezvous. This seems like an easy solution to my current desire. However, it will require me to get over my unfortunate stage fright.

I mentioned in a previous post that I have developed a certain level of anxiety when it comes to gaming. I am rather amazed that I haven’t given up on the hobby because of it. But I suppose I am a glutton for punishment. However, at the heart of this is an absolute fear of playing with people I don’t know. I don’t know how they are going to act or react to me and I feel them judging everything that I do. Often, it drives out the very soul of my character and replaces it with a rudimentary artificial intelligence that is only capable of rolling dice.

Thankfully, this year at MisCon, I finally pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and played in a game ran by a dear friend. Prior to the convention, I had played a test version of one of the games he ran over the weekend. This was helpful as I had a couple of people from my old gaming group along with two people that I know, but have never played with. It was like playing with a safety blanket. At the convention, I played with four people I have never met before. The only one I knew in the room was the GM.

I will admit now that the entire time we gamed my palms were sweaty and my heart was fluttering with nervousness. But I pushed that aside and had fun. Of course, it was easy in that game. I was Peter Pan. And I had one mission. Find Tinkerbell and rescue her. There was a bit of in-character wimpering for my fairy and calling out her name. I rushed into danger headlong. I flew about using my fairy dust. And ultimately, by the end of it, I didn’t feel judged. I felt that we all had a rather fun time.

Those few hours as Peter started something inside me. If I could push aside my anxiety as a player, could I do the same as a GM? Could I put together a story that would entertain the players and allow them to focus on the game and not on the person running it? I think I can. And to that end, I am going to be focusing on putting together a game and testing it out. Maybe one will lead to another and another. Who knew gaming could help a person deal with social anxiety?

Love Bites

I haven't written anything the last couple of days. I have been spending some time watching True Blood. I watched the first season after it came out on DVD. After that, I tried to rent the second season through Netflix, but they kept sending the discs in the wrong order. I finally gave up trying. However, now that I subscribe to HBO, I have access to their streaming service and can catch up on the episodes I have missed.

Watching it reminded me just how much I love a good vampire story. I have to get this off of my chest. I love vampires. I have for as long as I can remember. Something about them is just so damn seductive. They just pull me in and I want more and more.

I suppose it was this draw to vampires in general that got me addicted to one of my favorite game systems of all time. The World of Darkness system and setting from White Wolf. I have posted before that I had quite a library of these books before I left Helena. And thankfully, I have gained them back and more over the last year or so. In addition, a good friend purchased me the 20th anniversary Collector's Edition of the Vampire: the Masquerade book that came out last October.

Now, I will admit that I have come to love many of the vampire shows that are marketed towards teenage girls. Some may say that this is because I am, deep down inside, a teenage girl. Hell, I have even said this a time or two. And my love for these shows has often earned me inglorious snickers from my friends.

However, here is a list of my vampire pleasures:

Vampire: the Masquerade - First time I played in a World of Darkness game and several games since.  

Once Bitten - I love Jim Carey in this

True Blood - So many pieces of eye candy in this show.

Kindred the Embraced - I wish this show would have lasted longer.

The Vampire Diaries - I shouldn't like this, but I do and can not wait for the newest season to be up on Netflix streaming.  

Dracula - 1992 film adaptation. Gary Oldman is amazing in everything he acts in.

Forever Knight - I remember staying up late on school nights to watch this show.  

Being Human - I do prefer the BBC version. However the American version is tolerable

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Joss Whedon is a god and this show proves it.

Angel - See above

Blade trilogy - Ok, yes he is a hunter. But damn it, he is a daywalker. So he is PART vampire.

Moonlight - Caught a couple episodes while it was on the air. Picked up the others after it was over.

Nosferatu - 1922 classic

The Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice is the Queen of vampires.

Interview with the Vampire - While I detest Tom Cruise in this movie, I do love Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas.

Queen of the Damned - Not nearly as good as the books, but I still love it and has some amazing music.

Lost Boys - First time I watched this was during YMCA day camp one summer.

Twilight - I cannot stand the books. However, the movies are entertaining if you get past the sparkles.

The Fine Line

One of the hardest parts of crafting a great tale is not showing your hand too soon. It doesn’t matter whether you are writing a great game, novel, movie, comic, etc. You must seamlessly detail people, places, things or events that will be of importance later with the things that are utterly trivial. You need to bring appropriate attention to it without grabbing a big yellow highlighter and circling it and writing “For Use Later” above it.

That was one of my problems with the most recent member of the Alien franchise. Prometheus fell into this pit early on. The use of the “dark liquid” at the beginning foreshadowed that it would appear again, later in the movie. Almost everything to do with Ms. Vicker’s life raft was contrived. From the fact that it was essentially another ship capable of providing everything that she may need to the convenient medical pod that was contained within it. Every one of these things was presented with dialog that might have well been a big yellow highlighter.

However, I suppose this is really no different than other ham-handed approaches in storytelling. It sort of makes me think of Star Trek. We all knew if they wore a red shirt and had no first name (or even referenced as anything other than their rank) that they were doomed to die. They should have worn florescent yellow shirts and had text floating about them that said “I’m a goner.”

I suppose that was one of the reasons I started to like the Game of Thrones series. I say series as I haven’t read the books yet. They seemed a bit voluminous for me. However, other than to cast fairly handsome people in roles that are important, you don’t necessarily see all of the twists and turns. You get attached to a strong character. Due to our understanding of good writing, we feel that “the good guys” or protagonists or main character are immune to death. It is through them that we experience the story.

Unfortunately, Mr. Martin does not subscribe to conventional storytelling tropes. While this is perfect for seamlessly blending the important plot points with simple facts that expand the world, it does make it difficult to truly become immersed in the story. Sure, you get to find out the story based on the point of view of this character or that. But do not get too close. The character will meet an end of some sort that will force you to pick a new favorite.

I mentioned that I started to like the series. I finished the second season and will likely watch whatever else is produced. However, it lost my full attention. At this point, the only characters I can stand are Arya Stark and Tyrion Lannister. However, I fear not actually like them too much. If I do, they will die as did the other characters that I enjoyed.

While his method of storytelling does seem more realistic, there is a reason that we enjoy tales of good versus evil. We like to know, that even in face of the worst pains and obstacles, they will overcome. We want there to be a silver lining in the cloud. We want to know that things will get better. And that we, through the character, can triumph. It gives us hope and reminds us that no matter how shitty today is, there is always tomorrow and the promise that it can be a better day. I guess I am a fool for wanting there to be a big yellow highlighter that circles the good guys and write about it “They Will Live.”

Things Return in Spades

I am sure I am not alone when I say I have been forced to get rid of some of my gaming habits over the years. Sometimes it has been to make room for other gaming habits. Other times it has been to get money to live. Parting with things has always been hard for me. Books and cards are like old friends that I want to keep around but just can’t.

Prior to leaving Helena, I had to get rid of cards for a game I played back in High School. It was an old TCG based on Highlander. You may notice as I continue to post that I have a thing for Highlander. I own all of the seasons of the TV show in one format or another. And I have a Director’s Cut of the original film. Anyways, when the card game came out, I spent much of my free money (which was a bit at the time) on cards. I had a huge collection including hard-to-get promo cards. The company that produced it went out of business some time ago, so there hasn’t been anything new released in a while. After a while, the group that I played with ultimately stopped playing and changed back to Magic. A dear friend said that he was willing to take the collection as he was trying to keep the game alive with a few of his friends. I let them go as they were just taking up space in my little apartment.

When I got to Missoula, I again had to make peace with getting rid of some books. For the angst-y part of my teenage years, I became quite fond of World of Darkness (old school not the new stuff). Primarily I played Vampire: the Masquerade but also had most of the Werewolf: the Apolcalypse and Mage: the Ascension books. Thankfully, Andy at Gallant games understood what it meant to be in dire need of cash. I moved here with enough money to pay for gas in the vehicles it took to haul my stuff from Helena. What I could make from my books had to go to feeding me until I got a job and became a bit more stable. He bought them all.

So a year or so ago, a friend on the MisCon Committee said that he needed to get rid of some old World of Darkness books. He was no longer using them and they were just taking up space. At the time, I had gotten a jones-ing to play the games of my youth again and was trying to put together a workable library. While I could easily have reacquired the entire library in digital form via various torrent sites, I would rather have the hard copies while I work on game bits. So he brought them to a meeting and the moment I laid eyes on them I beamed. I was looking at my old friends. Not all of them. But many of the books he had brought were the ones I had parted with several years before. He confirmed my suspicion that he had acquired them as used books from Gallant Games. A couple of months later, a friend from Helena said that he had lost his storage space and asked if I knew anyone who was interested in a bunch of World of Darkness books. I said that I would be glad to take them off of his hands. I know have all of the books that I had before moving here plus several more.

Just a few minutes ago, I returned from reacquiring my old Highlander cards. It turns out that the friend that I had turned them over to had given them to a mutual friend. I had posted a couple times on Facebook how much I missed playing the game and the new owner said that he had them. After talking to him for a bit he agreed to part ways with them. In addition to the cards I had, I have acquired hundreds more. I now have enough to make several good decks to play with friends and reminisce about times long past.

I suppose this is like geek karma. Put good things out into the geek world and the geek world will return three fold. My suggestions for all geeks, keep putting out good karma and it will return.

And Now, A Musical Interlude

One of the many panels I wish I could have made it to at MisCon this year was on music during games. I would have loved to hear what other people think. I for one am a big fan of music in general. Might be why I was in choir from the time I was 8 until I graduated from High School. Or it could be that I wrote my first piece of music when I was 4 years old. Who knows?

Music has the ability to evoke so many subtle emotions. I have had to be careful of the tunes I put on in the car. Happy joyful music I can sing along to – no problem. Music that makes me rage and I am speeding and passing people left and right.

Before I go too far, I should explain that my games of choice at the moment are Shadowrun, D&D 3.5 (I still haven’t played Pathfinder), and anything from the old World of Darkness line. I am also in a Call of Cthulhu game as a player (a rare treat). These games have been my mainstays for quite a while. I would love to branch out more so that I can experience more systems and be a bit better-rounded as a gamer.

I love how music can help shape a game session. In my opinion, music can have a stronger impact on the game then maps, minis, or pictures. Especially if you can time it well. Of course, the problem I have seen is that certain tracks are selected and they simply play on random/repeat. After a while it reminds me of the music they pipe into WalMart, where you know there are other songs but your mind only grabs on to one or two. It becomes monotonous and ultimately gets boring and has little impact on the overall game.

I have had the chance to GM a game where I had a little more control on the tunes while we played. This can be difficult to do, depending on your set up. They way that I set it up, was having some general music to just represent street noise and the “white noise” within the game. We were playing Shadowrun, so this consisted of mundane techno beats that weren’t too hard or too mellow. Then I had a playlist that was specifically Hard/Fast to tune to when action picked up. I could then change back when they got back to mundane actions.  The players seemed to appreciate it and I loved watching their body language change when the music did.

Of course, finding the right music is important to the whole process too. I can only handle so much Midnight Syndicate while I play D&D (or any other game for that matter). During my last Werewolf Chronicle, I had a DJ friend throw together a set that was grimy and really had the feel of the overall story I was going for. Each of my players got a copy as part of playing in the game. However, I don’t know that having a professional DJ whip up all of your music is necessarily the best way for everyone. And I am not sure that I could resort to that every time.
The following are bands/songs/or musical works that are my go-to when it comes to background music:

Loreena McKennitt – Her music has found its way into high fantasy games as well as urban fairy tales. She is easy to have the volume low and just feel the spirit of it. Also use it when I am working on story content for games.

E Nomine – I can only blame my friend Josh for this one. I love the gritty sound that the German gives the music. I think there is some power to the fact that most of it is just spoken over electronic music. This one definitely gets into Vampire/Werewolf or a Dark Fae game as well as gritty Shadowrun. It doesn’t flow as well with high fantasy, although it could have its place. This is another go to when writing.

Carmina Burena – This can and has found its way into many games. The first time I heard O, Fortuna was while watching Excalibur and I can never really get that out of my head.

Night on Bald Mountain – Need I say more? I love the dark feel of it. The sequence of Fantasia still freaks me out a little.

Midnight Syndicate – Yes, I stated earlier that sometimes they can be overused. However, they are still a good fallback for “mood music”

Vision – The Music of Hildegard Von Bingen. Actually listening to this as I write this blog. Along with most Gregorian style chant, I love the power this type of music has. Perhaps a throwback to when I was looking to join a monastery.  I have used these in fantasy games as well as Mage:  the Ascension stories.

Enya – Similar to Loreena, I can seem to find a place for her music in almost any sort of game.

Enigma – See above. I know this is cliché, but I love the music.

DJ HAuLi – Have to give a shout out to my DJ buddy that was willing to throw together a set for me.

Nature Tracks – Various CDs of natural noises. I used a few wolf howl CDs for my Werewolf game. These can also be used in a high fantasy game for forest noises.

What are your go-to tracks/bands/etc for gaming? Do you even use music in your game? Tell us about it in the comments below.