Rebellion and Family Bonding

My mother was convinced that Dungeons and Dragons was a form of devil worship. She didn’t want me to have anything to do with it. I couldn’t really grasp why she was so against this game. She didn’t know anyone personally that played, so she didn’t have any experience in how playing a Dwarven warrior would conjure demons that would devour my soul. So what did I do? The only thing a teenager can do. Rebel against my mother.

I was first introduced to D&D when I was in the 6^th grade. A kid in one of my classes, who was also the son of one of the Deacon’s at church, introduced me. How demonic could it be if he was allowed to play it? He would tell me about the wonderful worlds that he and his friends created in their own imaginations. He told me about sinister overlords and the mighty heroes that could defeat them. And one day, during a study break, he busted out his books and helped me make my first character. I was such an idiot back then. I thought a Halfling was actually a half – Ling. I honestly believed that there was some magical race called Lings and a Halfling had one parent that was a Ling and one that was a human. I didn’t fully understand the rules. But I remember being mesmerized by the magical 20-sided die that determined success or failure.

I tried to remember as much of what I learned in that one sitting and replicate it with some neighborhood kids. I couldn’t remember all of the races, but I knew there were Dwarves, Elves, Half-Lings and humans. I remember I wanted to tell a story so bad that when a friend asked if they could be a quarter-Ling, I was completely ok with it. It didn’t matter what races they played, I wanted to re-enact the story that I had watched unfold in front of me. The gaming bug had bitten. And I knew that it would forever be part of who I was.

I vaguely remember my parents talking about Dungeons and Dragons and how it corrupted the immortal soul of the poor children that played it. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid maybe I had already been corrupted by it. Thankfully, a friend had an alternative. It was Lord of the Rings Adventure Gaming by Iron Crown Enterprises. They still used the magical polyhedron that I had fallen in love with, even if it went to 10 twice. We would play a couple times a week, when I stayed at his house after school. I didn’t know anything about J. R. R. Tolkien at that time, or even what the Lord of the Rings was. But I enjoyed playing make-believe with my friends.

My father found out about our weekly gaming and he seemed to glow. He was a big Tolkien fan and felt that this might be one of those bonding moments that he needed. For Christmas that year, he bought me (or rather Santa delivered) the box set for the Lord of the Rings game. I remember taking it to school after Christmas break and joining with my buddy CJ and Logan and talking about how cool the game was. They were both fairly unimpressed. They both had experience playing D&D and were convinced that it was a far superior game.

During my middle school years, I had a bit of a problem in school. I wasn’t much for studying and eventually my father started taking me to the library after school to ensure that all of my home work was done. It was during these trips that I started poking around at the public library and found that they had the Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide for AD&D 2^nd Edition. I remember the first time I checked them out. I hid the books from my father, stuffing them in my book bag as quickly as I could. My heart was slamming against the inside of my chest as adrenaline fired through my veins. I think I had those two books checked out for almost a year straight.

Having the books earned me some credit with my “cool” friends that knew the game better than I. We would make up excuses of studying for tests so that I could go to CJ’s place after school to play the game I had grown to love. And still I had to hide it.

I think coming out of the gaming closet and telling my mom that I played D&D was what gave me the strength to later come out about being gay. I still think it was pretty epic. It was my freshman year in high school. I had become close friends with a guy named Jim who was a senior. By the way, any time a freshman has a friend that is a senior it is pretty awesome. Anyways, Jim said he wanted to show my mom that it wasn’t evil. So given the strength of my friends, I told my mother that I had some friends that were going to come over on a Friday night and we were going to play D&D. At first she was furious. But then I told her that I didn’t mind if she wanted to watch. If a demon was summoned we might need her help putting it back where it belonged. She didn’t like this answer, but eventually she relented. I may have given her my sad puppy dog eyes that always won her over.

So the arranged date arrived and Jim came to my house with his fiancée. CJ came as well for moral support. My mother, bless her, decided to make homemade doughnuts while we played. That way she was in the kitchen the entire time and could see/hear exactly what happened. I am still convinced that somewhere in the kitchen was a Bible and her rosary.
We buckled in and Jim began to weave his tale. There was a good deal of in-character dialog, many tongue-in-cheek comments, groans of defeat and cheers of victory. At one point, CJ got Brandy (Jim’s fiancée) laughing so hard  we needed to take a break so she could puff on her inhaler. No demons were summoned at all during the session. After it was all done, my mother came to Jim and I and asked if that was all there was to D&D. We both explained that it was. My mother’s eyes lit up and she asked if could join us next time. We were delighted.

I helped my mother make her elven sorceress and watched with pride as she played along with us the next week. I still remember the glee in her eyes when she critically struck one of the bad guys and Jim described how her dagger cleanly removed the cultist’s man-bits. She may have even squealed a little.

She never played with us again after that. But the moments we shared at the table made her realize that just because she had heard something didn’t necessarily make it true. It helped me realize just how cool my mom is. And she never again questioned my interest in the hobby that has become my passion.