Player Versus Story

As mentioned in a previous post, I am working on a game I can run at conventions this year. It got me thinking about story/game content versus what players want. I have been putting together my own stories almost since I started playing this game. I guess, as a writer, I enjoy creating worlds and watching people play in them.

Don't get me wrong. I do like published games. They are nice jump off spots or fillers. I am just not a fan of full campaigns that are pre-published. I feel they are too restrictive. Maybe that is just because I tend to run for players that like to think outside of the box. I remember running my first published game. I was completely unprepared for where my players took the story.

However, I have played in GM crafted games where the ability to get outside of the box is not possible. They thwart any attempt to go outside of the parameters of their story. This is such a boring approach to gaming for me.

GM: "You are in a square room. Each wall contains a door. What do you do?"

Players: "Try a door."

GM: "Which one?"

Players: pointing at the map "Umm, this one."

GM: "It is locked"

Players: "Split up, Fighter, try the doors. Rogue check for traps and lock mechanisms. The rest of us canvas and look for keys"

GM: "The fighter finds that all of them are locked except this one." points at the map. "Your search reveals no keys or other contraptions for unlocking the other doors."

Rogue Player: "I attempt to pick the lock of this one" points at map

GM: "After several attempts, you are unable to properly pick the lock"

Players: "Clearly there is something cool behind these other doors, but apparently he," points at the GM, "wants us to go here."

I suppose for some people, this type of game is appealing. I don't think I have ever met these people. But my guess is that they do exist somewhere in the known universe.

There will be times when the GM does have to rope the players back into the "reality" of the story so that they don't go off of the deep end. However, the way that your players react to a situation can give you insight into the kind of story they want to play in. In fact, this is how I tend to use published material. Use it as a starting point and see how the characters react. What story elements do they gravitate towards? What NPCs seems most interesting to them? What story are they telling amongst themselves about who they are and where they want to go? From there, I can use these ideas to plot further down the line.

I try not to plan too far out. A couple of chapters fully scene-ed with notes for where I think it is going or what elements I would like to bring to the table. Players are fickle. And the last thing I want to do is spend all my free time between games crafting story elements that will never see play. Or writing the whole story based solely on how they react/play during the first couple of "chapters."

This is again where I vary from some folks I have played with. I have been in the game where the GM has spent a great deal of time crafting what they feel is an amazing story. And when you first start playing, you groove with the style. As your character grows and develops, the story has less and less to do with where you are going in life. But you are trapped in it. I have even suggested downtime things that my player would be interested in and been ignored as it is not part of the story they want to tell. I probably should have left the game at that point. But I liked the people so I tolerated it.

What all of this comes down to is really just some advice. If you are a GM, do not buy into the idea that you are god. You may have spent quite a bit of you time refining your story. But remember, that the characters are driven by intelligent people. They will grow and develop just like real people and what was fun for them at the start may not be where they are now. Don't force your story on your players. Let it grow and develop with them. It will be more enjoyable for both of you in the end.

How Gaming Is Helping Me

Lately, I have been thinking of resurrecting my ideas of a Mage: the Ascension game. The urge to craft a story and run it for some folks has been building up since MisCon. Unfortunately, I do not currently have a game group. My former group of players split up a year or so ago. However, my lack of players has not qwelled my interest in putting together a game.

There will be opportunities to run it, I suppose. Right now, I am crafting a one-shot game to kick the story off. I suppose I could run it at one of the game days here in Missoula or take it with me to the Great Falls Gaming Rendezvous. This seems like an easy solution to my current desire. However, it will require me to get over my unfortunate stage fright.

I mentioned in a previous post that I have developed a certain level of anxiety when it comes to gaming. I am rather amazed that I haven’t given up on the hobby because of it. But I suppose I am a glutton for punishment. However, at the heart of this is an absolute fear of playing with people I don’t know. I don’t know how they are going to act or react to me and I feel them judging everything that I do. Often, it drives out the very soul of my character and replaces it with a rudimentary artificial intelligence that is only capable of rolling dice.

Thankfully, this year at MisCon, I finally pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and played in a game ran by a dear friend. Prior to the convention, I had played a test version of one of the games he ran over the weekend. This was helpful as I had a couple of people from my old gaming group along with two people that I know, but have never played with. It was like playing with a safety blanket. At the convention, I played with four people I have never met before. The only one I knew in the room was the GM.

I will admit now that the entire time we gamed my palms were sweaty and my heart was fluttering with nervousness. But I pushed that aside and had fun. Of course, it was easy in that game. I was Peter Pan. And I had one mission. Find Tinkerbell and rescue her. There was a bit of in-character wimpering for my fairy and calling out her name. I rushed into danger headlong. I flew about using my fairy dust. And ultimately, by the end of it, I didn’t feel judged. I felt that we all had a rather fun time.

Those few hours as Peter started something inside me. If I could push aside my anxiety as a player, could I do the same as a GM? Could I put together a story that would entertain the players and allow them to focus on the game and not on the person running it? I think I can. And to that end, I am going to be focusing on putting together a game and testing it out. Maybe one will lead to another and another. Who knew gaming could help a person deal with social anxiety?

Love Bites

I haven't written anything the last couple of days. I have been spending some time watching True Blood. I watched the first season after it came out on DVD. After that, I tried to rent the second season through Netflix, but they kept sending the discs in the wrong order. I finally gave up trying. However, now that I subscribe to HBO, I have access to their streaming service and can catch up on the episodes I have missed.

Watching it reminded me just how much I love a good vampire story. I have to get this off of my chest. I love vampires. I have for as long as I can remember. Something about them is just so damn seductive. They just pull me in and I want more and more.

I suppose it was this draw to vampires in general that got me addicted to one of my favorite game systems of all time. The World of Darkness system and setting from White Wolf. I have posted before that I had quite a library of these books before I left Helena. And thankfully, I have gained them back and more over the last year or so. In addition, a good friend purchased me the 20th anniversary Collector's Edition of the Vampire: the Masquerade book that came out last October.

Now, I will admit that I have come to love many of the vampire shows that are marketed towards teenage girls. Some may say that this is because I am, deep down inside, a teenage girl. Hell, I have even said this a time or two. And my love for these shows has often earned me inglorious snickers from my friends.

However, here is a list of my vampire pleasures:

Vampire: the Masquerade - First time I played in a World of Darkness game and several games since.  

Once Bitten - I love Jim Carey in this

True Blood - So many pieces of eye candy in this show.

Kindred the Embraced - I wish this show would have lasted longer.

The Vampire Diaries - I shouldn't like this, but I do and can not wait for the newest season to be up on Netflix streaming.  

Dracula - 1992 film adaptation. Gary Oldman is amazing in everything he acts in.

Forever Knight - I remember staying up late on school nights to watch this show.  

Being Human - I do prefer the BBC version. However the American version is tolerable

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Joss Whedon is a god and this show proves it.

Angel - See above

Blade trilogy - Ok, yes he is a hunter. But damn it, he is a daywalker. So he is PART vampire.

Moonlight - Caught a couple episodes while it was on the air. Picked up the others after it was over.

Nosferatu - 1922 classic

The Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice is the Queen of vampires.

Interview with the Vampire - While I detest Tom Cruise in this movie, I do love Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas.

Queen of the Damned - Not nearly as good as the books, but I still love it and has some amazing music.

Lost Boys - First time I watched this was during YMCA day camp one summer.

Twilight - I cannot stand the books. However, the movies are entertaining if you get past the sparkles.

The Fine Line

One of the hardest parts of crafting a great tale is not showing your hand too soon. It doesn’t matter whether you are writing a great game, novel, movie, comic, etc. You must seamlessly detail people, places, things or events that will be of importance later with the things that are utterly trivial. You need to bring appropriate attention to it without grabbing a big yellow highlighter and circling it and writing “For Use Later” above it.

That was one of my problems with the most recent member of the Alien franchise. Prometheus fell into this pit early on. The use of the “dark liquid” at the beginning foreshadowed that it would appear again, later in the movie. Almost everything to do with Ms. Vicker’s life raft was contrived. From the fact that it was essentially another ship capable of providing everything that she may need to the convenient medical pod that was contained within it. Every one of these things was presented with dialog that might have well been a big yellow highlighter.

However, I suppose this is really no different than other ham-handed approaches in storytelling. It sort of makes me think of Star Trek. We all knew if they wore a red shirt and had no first name (or even referenced as anything other than their rank) that they were doomed to die. They should have worn florescent yellow shirts and had text floating about them that said “I’m a goner.”

I suppose that was one of the reasons I started to like the Game of Thrones series. I say series as I haven’t read the books yet. They seemed a bit voluminous for me. However, other than to cast fairly handsome people in roles that are important, you don’t necessarily see all of the twists and turns. You get attached to a strong character. Due to our understanding of good writing, we feel that “the good guys” or protagonists or main character are immune to death. It is through them that we experience the story.

Unfortunately, Mr. Martin does not subscribe to conventional storytelling tropes. While this is perfect for seamlessly blending the important plot points with simple facts that expand the world, it does make it difficult to truly become immersed in the story. Sure, you get to find out the story based on the point of view of this character or that. But do not get too close. The character will meet an end of some sort that will force you to pick a new favorite.

I mentioned that I started to like the series. I finished the second season and will likely watch whatever else is produced. However, it lost my full attention. At this point, the only characters I can stand are Arya Stark and Tyrion Lannister. However, I fear not actually like them too much. If I do, they will die as did the other characters that I enjoyed.

While his method of storytelling does seem more realistic, there is a reason that we enjoy tales of good versus evil. We like to know, that even in face of the worst pains and obstacles, they will overcome. We want there to be a silver lining in the cloud. We want to know that things will get better. And that we, through the character, can triumph. It gives us hope and reminds us that no matter how shitty today is, there is always tomorrow and the promise that it can be a better day. I guess I am a fool for wanting there to be a big yellow highlighter that circles the good guys and write about it “They Will Live.”

Things Return in Spades

I am sure I am not alone when I say I have been forced to get rid of some of my gaming habits over the years. Sometimes it has been to make room for other gaming habits. Other times it has been to get money to live. Parting with things has always been hard for me. Books and cards are like old friends that I want to keep around but just can’t.

Prior to leaving Helena, I had to get rid of cards for a game I played back in High School. It was an old TCG based on Highlander. You may notice as I continue to post that I have a thing for Highlander. I own all of the seasons of the TV show in one format or another. And I have a Director’s Cut of the original film. Anyways, when the card game came out, I spent much of my free money (which was a bit at the time) on cards. I had a huge collection including hard-to-get promo cards. The company that produced it went out of business some time ago, so there hasn’t been anything new released in a while. After a while, the group that I played with ultimately stopped playing and changed back to Magic. A dear friend said that he was willing to take the collection as he was trying to keep the game alive with a few of his friends. I let them go as they were just taking up space in my little apartment.

When I got to Missoula, I again had to make peace with getting rid of some books. For the angst-y part of my teenage years, I became quite fond of World of Darkness (old school not the new stuff). Primarily I played Vampire: the Masquerade but also had most of the Werewolf: the Apolcalypse and Mage: the Ascension books. Thankfully, Andy at Gallant games understood what it meant to be in dire need of cash. I moved here with enough money to pay for gas in the vehicles it took to haul my stuff from Helena. What I could make from my books had to go to feeding me until I got a job and became a bit more stable. He bought them all.

So a year or so ago, a friend on the MisCon Committee said that he needed to get rid of some old World of Darkness books. He was no longer using them and they were just taking up space. At the time, I had gotten a jones-ing to play the games of my youth again and was trying to put together a workable library. While I could easily have reacquired the entire library in digital form via various torrent sites, I would rather have the hard copies while I work on game bits. So he brought them to a meeting and the moment I laid eyes on them I beamed. I was looking at my old friends. Not all of them. But many of the books he had brought were the ones I had parted with several years before. He confirmed my suspicion that he had acquired them as used books from Gallant Games. A couple of months later, a friend from Helena said that he had lost his storage space and asked if I knew anyone who was interested in a bunch of World of Darkness books. I said that I would be glad to take them off of his hands. I know have all of the books that I had before moving here plus several more.

Just a few minutes ago, I returned from reacquiring my old Highlander cards. It turns out that the friend that I had turned them over to had given them to a mutual friend. I had posted a couple times on Facebook how much I missed playing the game and the new owner said that he had them. After talking to him for a bit he agreed to part ways with them. In addition to the cards I had, I have acquired hundreds more. I now have enough to make several good decks to play with friends and reminisce about times long past.

I suppose this is like geek karma. Put good things out into the geek world and the geek world will return three fold. My suggestions for all geeks, keep putting out good karma and it will return.

And Now, A Musical Interlude

One of the many panels I wish I could have made it to at MisCon this year was on music during games. I would have loved to hear what other people think. I for one am a big fan of music in general. Might be why I was in choir from the time I was 8 until I graduated from High School. Or it could be that I wrote my first piece of music when I was 4 years old. Who knows?

Music has the ability to evoke so many subtle emotions. I have had to be careful of the tunes I put on in the car. Happy joyful music I can sing along to – no problem. Music that makes me rage and I am speeding and passing people left and right.

Before I go too far, I should explain that my games of choice at the moment are Shadowrun, D&D 3.5 (I still haven’t played Pathfinder), and anything from the old World of Darkness line. I am also in a Call of Cthulhu game as a player (a rare treat). These games have been my mainstays for quite a while. I would love to branch out more so that I can experience more systems and be a bit better-rounded as a gamer.

I love how music can help shape a game session. In my opinion, music can have a stronger impact on the game then maps, minis, or pictures. Especially if you can time it well. Of course, the problem I have seen is that certain tracks are selected and they simply play on random/repeat. After a while it reminds me of the music they pipe into WalMart, where you know there are other songs but your mind only grabs on to one or two. It becomes monotonous and ultimately gets boring and has little impact on the overall game.

I have had the chance to GM a game where I had a little more control on the tunes while we played. This can be difficult to do, depending on your set up. They way that I set it up, was having some general music to just represent street noise and the “white noise” within the game. We were playing Shadowrun, so this consisted of mundane techno beats that weren’t too hard or too mellow. Then I had a playlist that was specifically Hard/Fast to tune to when action picked up. I could then change back when they got back to mundane actions.  The players seemed to appreciate it and I loved watching their body language change when the music did.

Of course, finding the right music is important to the whole process too. I can only handle so much Midnight Syndicate while I play D&D (or any other game for that matter). During my last Werewolf Chronicle, I had a DJ friend throw together a set that was grimy and really had the feel of the overall story I was going for. Each of my players got a copy as part of playing in the game. However, I don’t know that having a professional DJ whip up all of your music is necessarily the best way for everyone. And I am not sure that I could resort to that every time.
The following are bands/songs/or musical works that are my go-to when it comes to background music:

Loreena McKennitt – Her music has found its way into high fantasy games as well as urban fairy tales. She is easy to have the volume low and just feel the spirit of it. Also use it when I am working on story content for games.

E Nomine – I can only blame my friend Josh for this one. I love the gritty sound that the German gives the music. I think there is some power to the fact that most of it is just spoken over electronic music. This one definitely gets into Vampire/Werewolf or a Dark Fae game as well as gritty Shadowrun. It doesn’t flow as well with high fantasy, although it could have its place. This is another go to when writing.

Carmina Burena – This can and has found its way into many games. The first time I heard O, Fortuna was while watching Excalibur and I can never really get that out of my head.

Night on Bald Mountain – Need I say more? I love the dark feel of it. The sequence of Fantasia still freaks me out a little.

Midnight Syndicate – Yes, I stated earlier that sometimes they can be overused. However, they are still a good fallback for “mood music”

Vision – The Music of Hildegard Von Bingen. Actually listening to this as I write this blog. Along with most Gregorian style chant, I love the power this type of music has. Perhaps a throwback to when I was looking to join a monastery.  I have used these in fantasy games as well as Mage:  the Ascension stories.

Enya – Similar to Loreena, I can seem to find a place for her music in almost any sort of game.

Enigma – See above. I know this is cliché, but I love the music.

DJ HAuLi – Have to give a shout out to my DJ buddy that was willing to throw together a set for me.

Nature Tracks – Various CDs of natural noises. I used a few wolf howl CDs for my Werewolf game. These can also be used in a high fantasy game for forest noises.

What are your go-to tracks/bands/etc for gaming? Do you even use music in your game? Tell us about it in the comments below.

Rebellion and Family Bonding

My mother was convinced that Dungeons and Dragons was a form of devil worship. She didn’t want me to have anything to do with it. I couldn’t really grasp why she was so against this game. She didn’t know anyone personally that played, so she didn’t have any experience in how playing a Dwarven warrior would conjure demons that would devour my soul. So what did I do? The only thing a teenager can do. Rebel against my mother.

I was first introduced to D&D when I was in the 6^th grade. A kid in one of my classes, who was also the son of one of the Deacon’s at church, introduced me. How demonic could it be if he was allowed to play it? He would tell me about the wonderful worlds that he and his friends created in their own imaginations. He told me about sinister overlords and the mighty heroes that could defeat them. And one day, during a study break, he busted out his books and helped me make my first character. I was such an idiot back then. I thought a Halfling was actually a half – Ling. I honestly believed that there was some magical race called Lings and a Halfling had one parent that was a Ling and one that was a human. I didn’t fully understand the rules. But I remember being mesmerized by the magical 20-sided die that determined success or failure.

I tried to remember as much of what I learned in that one sitting and replicate it with some neighborhood kids. I couldn’t remember all of the races, but I knew there were Dwarves, Elves, Half-Lings and humans. I remember I wanted to tell a story so bad that when a friend asked if they could be a quarter-Ling, I was completely ok with it. It didn’t matter what races they played, I wanted to re-enact the story that I had watched unfold in front of me. The gaming bug had bitten. And I knew that it would forever be part of who I was.

I vaguely remember my parents talking about Dungeons and Dragons and how it corrupted the immortal soul of the poor children that played it. I wanted to say something, but I was afraid maybe I had already been corrupted by it. Thankfully, a friend had an alternative. It was Lord of the Rings Adventure Gaming by Iron Crown Enterprises. They still used the magical polyhedron that I had fallen in love with, even if it went to 10 twice. We would play a couple times a week, when I stayed at his house after school. I didn’t know anything about J. R. R. Tolkien at that time, or even what the Lord of the Rings was. But I enjoyed playing make-believe with my friends.

My father found out about our weekly gaming and he seemed to glow. He was a big Tolkien fan and felt that this might be one of those bonding moments that he needed. For Christmas that year, he bought me (or rather Santa delivered) the box set for the Lord of the Rings game. I remember taking it to school after Christmas break and joining with my buddy CJ and Logan and talking about how cool the game was. They were both fairly unimpressed. They both had experience playing D&D and were convinced that it was a far superior game.

During my middle school years, I had a bit of a problem in school. I wasn’t much for studying and eventually my father started taking me to the library after school to ensure that all of my home work was done. It was during these trips that I started poking around at the public library and found that they had the Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide for AD&D 2^nd Edition. I remember the first time I checked them out. I hid the books from my father, stuffing them in my book bag as quickly as I could. My heart was slamming against the inside of my chest as adrenaline fired through my veins. I think I had those two books checked out for almost a year straight.

Having the books earned me some credit with my “cool” friends that knew the game better than I. We would make up excuses of studying for tests so that I could go to CJ’s place after school to play the game I had grown to love. And still I had to hide it.

I think coming out of the gaming closet and telling my mom that I played D&D was what gave me the strength to later come out about being gay. I still think it was pretty epic. It was my freshman year in high school. I had become close friends with a guy named Jim who was a senior. By the way, any time a freshman has a friend that is a senior it is pretty awesome. Anyways, Jim said he wanted to show my mom that it wasn’t evil. So given the strength of my friends, I told my mother that I had some friends that were going to come over on a Friday night and we were going to play D&D. At first she was furious. But then I told her that I didn’t mind if she wanted to watch. If a demon was summoned we might need her help putting it back where it belonged. She didn’t like this answer, but eventually she relented. I may have given her my sad puppy dog eyes that always won her over.

So the arranged date arrived and Jim came to my house with his fiancée. CJ came as well for moral support. My mother, bless her, decided to make homemade doughnuts while we played. That way she was in the kitchen the entire time and could see/hear exactly what happened. I am still convinced that somewhere in the kitchen was a Bible and her rosary.
We buckled in and Jim began to weave his tale. There was a good deal of in-character dialog, many tongue-in-cheek comments, groans of defeat and cheers of victory. At one point, CJ got Brandy (Jim’s fiancée) laughing so hard  we needed to take a break so she could puff on her inhaler. No demons were summoned at all during the session. After it was all done, my mother came to Jim and I and asked if that was all there was to D&D. We both explained that it was. My mother’s eyes lit up and she asked if could join us next time. We were delighted.

I helped my mother make her elven sorceress and watched with pride as she played along with us the next week. I still remember the glee in her eyes when she critically struck one of the bad guys and Jim described how her dagger cleanly removed the cultist’s man-bits. She may have even squealed a little.

She never played with us again after that. But the moments we shared at the table made her realize that just because she had heard something didn’t necessarily make it true. It helped me realize just how cool my mom is. And she never again questioned my interest in the hobby that has become my passion.

Hi-Tech vs. Lo-Tech: What to Bring to The Table?

I started gaming in the 6^th grade (circa 1991). When I first started, things were pretty low tech. Game consisted of a hand written character sheet, a pencil, a handful of polyhedral dice, and scratch paper/post-its for side conversations with GM or players. We had hard bound rule books that were dog-eared beyond belief.

That was so last century.

Today, I still have a library of gaming books, but I don’t lug them around to games. Instead, I have digital copies on my computer. When I prepare for game, I can load them on the laptop or my kindle. I have a dice roller on my phone, instead of sticky notes I can simply IM or text a player. Character sheets can and often are Excel spreadsheets. Who needs a GM screen when I can do most of the work from my laptop? With so many electronics now making their way to the game table the question comes up, “do you even really need to gather at someone’s house to play?” Of course not, we have Skype too. Or, depending on your style, you can play by email (although, this too reminds me of some of my old games prior to Skype).

So how much tech is too much? For me, having gamed across all levels of tech at this point, I like a nice blend. I like to physically be with my game group, so I am not much of a Skype fan. There is just something about gathering with friends and interacting with them in person. Honestly, if I wanted to interact with virtual people, I’d just log into World of Warcraft or Star Wars: the Old Republic. Now, I am sure someone out there is going to go off that Skype-ing and playing an MMO are different, since you are can see the person. However, to me, it just seems so artificial.

Depending on the group and what tech they have, I may have my Kindle with digital versions of game books available as well as core books in hard-copy. If I am GMing, I do prefer to use my laptop. I don’t like writing my gaming ideas out on paper any more. My hands cramp up and I can definitely get more word count out quickly when I have a keyboard. My laptop also has a copy of the rule book for handy reference as well as all of my adventure content. Scene descriptors and pictures that I have saved to give the players an idea of what they are seeing.

As for dice, call me old fashion, but I love the feeling of dice in my hands. Plus the sound they make is like music to my ears. Even if I use handfuls of dice to play, I would prefer the real thing. As for my players, I am fine with them randomly generating their numbers however they prefer. However, if they are consistently passing every test, I may ask them to show me their rolls. But that hasn’t been necessary yet.

Character sheets – again I prefer low tech here. I don’t care if we are using the “official” character sheet for the game or hand written accounta of stats and gear, I generally prefer paper to pixel. NPCs are a different matter. Those are on the laptop. But when I am playing, I would prefer actual paper to prevent distraction from the shiny interwebz. I also prefer my players to use paper for the same reason.

As for notes, I prefer hi-tech alternatives. Again, I can get the point across faster if I can type. Since I don’t like my players to have laptops, this usually means text messages. Of course the downside to this is the delay that can happen from send to receive. So far, I haven’t had this negatively affect a game. But I have had folks share with me that they have had some unfortunate events happen due to the delay that relying on cell towers has caused.

I currently play in a game that is extremely lo-tech. In fact, the only tech at work during the game is the GMs laptop to provide background music. Otherwise, he has provided us print outs of useful events happening during the era we are playing in (the game is set in the ‘20s), common phrases used during the setting, hard copies of books for reference, loads of scrap paper for notes and paper character sheets. The GM strongly frowns on any modern tech at the game table. It is very retro to me, but I survive.

What is your preference when it comes to tech? How much is too much? What has worked for you and what hasn’t? Feel free to share using the comments below.

Holding Out For A Hero

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

When I was younger, I knew I was different from other kids. As I have shared before, I didn’t know I was gay. Instead, I just understood that there was something inside me that made me different from my friends and family. I thought that meant that I was a wizard, a great knight of old, and for a while I thought it meant I was a vampire.

When I got to be about 10 or so, I started checking out comic books.  Not the Archie comics they sell next to Reader’s Digest. Instead, I was drawn to the colored pages of comics like Uncanny X-Men, Spider-Man, and the Avengers. There was just something about the Marvel comics that captivated me for years. It wasn’t until Spawn #1 that I even strayed from Marvel titles.

Reading stories about mutants, folks that were different from most of Earth's inhabitants, made me happy. Despite a constant sense of depression (discussed in a prior post), these comics brought light into my world of darkness. It made me feel that there was a place for me. I hoped that the feeling of being different might mean that I could develop cool super powers (they never developed damn it). But it gave me something that, at the time, I didn’t understand. But now as an adult, I realize that it made me feel normal.

When I started to identify that I was in fact gay (or the first stages of accepting it), I started to look for gay characters in the media I enjoyed. I was 16 at that point. I had heard about Northstar, the first gay super hero in Marvel’s line. I checked out some Alpha Flight comics. He wasn’t really an appealing character to me. Maybe I just don't understand Canadians? I just never really had any connection to the character.

As time has gone by, more characters within the Marvel universe have come out. Some of my favorite gay characters are Colossus (from the Ultimate Universe), Wiccan and Hulkling. I feel a strong connection with these three characters. Colossus is a Big Guy and just happens to be gay. Wiccan and Hulkling, despite being teenagers, have one of the best relationships I have seen in comic books. Admittedly, my husband and I kind of remind me of these two (sans mutant powers that is).  

My husband also chanced upon the revelation that Rictor and Shatterstar are also queer. The squeal of excitement that he made in the comic store when he saw the kiss still stands out in my mind as a reason why I love him so much.

I am excited about DC's announcement that Green Lantern, Alan Scott, would be reintroduced as a gay man.  In addition, June also sees Northstar marrying his longtime boyfriend Kyle. Good timing, comic book companies, as June is Gay Pride Month.

For a comprehensive list of Queer characters, check out queersupe.com

So who is your favorite gay super hero? Do you think those spandex-clad characters might all be a bit homoerotic? Let me know what you think.

I’d Play That

I was trying to figure out what today’s topic would be. I was talking with my husband and he suggested talking about RPGs that we both think would be fun to play if they were made. Now admittedly, with the various game systems out there, these could probably be played now. And after writing this, I may have to actually work on rules for doing so for conventions and one-off games.

Highlander – Ok, I am a big fan of the movie (there could be only one) and the series. It sounds like they are going to redo the first movie, so this game could potentially happen. There have been various rumors of an RPG none have come to fruition. There was a great Net Supplement for old World of Darkness, which I have played around with.

Of course the downside to an RPG version of Highlander, is in the end there can be only one immortal. Getting a group of immortals to not kill each other during an entire campaign may be nigh impossible. This could make for a great one shot, where they investigate the doings of evil immortal. Character in-fighting will run high as they squabble over which one is going to take the immortal’s head and quickening. Combat would ultimately be a main focus of this game, so it would need a system that had smooth combat that didn’t take hours to run.

Possible spin-off of this gaming universe would be to play a group of Watchers. Try to get close enough to your immortal without them knowing and if you get caught coming up with reasons you are stalking them.  This would be where great roleplaying would come in. Of course, the characters could go rogue and decide to off all of the immortals. They can’t feel you coming and you know the only way to keep them down for good.

Tron – They made it into a computer game and I think it could be a fun RPG. Perhaps I am more excited to see what the inside art of the books would look like. There are a few approaches to this game. You could play based on the original movie and be fighting the tyranny of MCP. Or perhaps, your characters take on the fight against CLU. Perhaps you want to explore other areas of the Grid looking for lost ISOs.

Someone had told me about a Tron-esque game they were working on using the d20 system. They really focused on the idea that you were a living program, and your class was represented by your file type. Warriors were .EXE, Bards would be .MP3, Wizards would be .DOC, etc. But at the heart, it is a D&D game that takes place inside of a computer. Perhaps if the characters didn’t know that they were files and found out through game play, this could be an interesting route. Other suitable game systems might be ShadowRun or a good ole percentile.

Transformers – Again, I think this might be more of a thematic interest. I mean holy cow I am playing a giant friggin robot that can transform. And there is such a history to explore with this one. Perhaps your game takes place on Cybertron, before the Transformers crashed on Earth. You could take part in the Cybertronian wars or you could be on Earth trying to defend against the Decepticons. Or maybe you play as a group of Decepticons? I love the idea of a gaming group that has the ability to form into one big transformer together. Talk about team work.

As far as a system, again this could be a pretty simple game. You don’t really have any super powers to work with, so you can go with a simple system for resolving effects. I could see this being a modern d20 game or really any system that doesn’t necessarily have classes. However, I think you should get things for leveling up.

Alternatives of this could involve playing a Voltron force. Of course if you go that way, you really aren’t necessarily leveling your giant robot, so using the mech-warrior system might be better if you went that way.

Care Bears – You and your friends take up the mantle of various Care Bears or Care Cousins to defeat the forces of evil and rescue hapless children that have been duped by the bad guys. You can be people like Love-A-Lot Bear, Cozyheart Penguin, or Cheer Bear. Of course, there is always room in the Care Bear universe for new characters as well. You could create characters like Emo Bear, Fhtagn Squid, or Touch-Me-Here Bear. You would have a Cuteness attribute that could be used to disorient people as they Ooh and Ahh at how adorable you are. Ultimate power would be the Care Bear Stare which would allow you to increase your cuteness while devastating your foe with the power of your tummy symbol.
Almost any existing system could probably handle the Care Bears. It could be an interesting use of the Grimm d6 system. It is simple enough. Variations of this game could include My Little Ponies or Rainbow Brite. Perhaps they could all join together. I am not sure that I would be able to retain the contents of my stomach with that much cute running around.

Almost any ‘80s cartoon – Think about it, you could play as Gummi Bears, Smurfs, Thundercats, He-Man/She-ra, Jem, TNMT, etc. How cool is it to relive or re-create adventures you saw on TV as a kid. I miss these cartoons and I think it would be fun to play any of them.

How about you? What RPGs would you love to play, even just for a few games? Or, if you have translated on of the above games, share what system you used and how it turned out. Share using the comments below.

Don't Be a Dick

Wheaton's Law is one of the most crucial laws in social situations. It took me a while to learn this rule. Looking back now, I wish I would have practiced it from the onset. It is an important law regardless of whether you are a player, a GM, or just a schmo living in the real world.

As a player, I remember the first time I had been called out for being a dick. It was the first time I gamed outside of my normal group. I had joined a group that played at a local hobby store after hours. It only took a couple of game sessions for my dick-ish tendencies to come to the forefront. I wasn’t necessarily being a jerk. But my words and actions during that game made people uncomfortable. The GM, who owned the store, pulled me aside after one particular game session and told me that I was no longer welcome in the group. And if I kept it up, I wasn’t welcome in the store.

I don’t remember what it was exactly that pushed peoples buttons.  It could have been that I was a socially awkward person that just didn’t know how to act or react in mixed company. Regardless of the reason, being asked to leave the group had a huge impact on me. It caused me to become a bit nervous about gaming with people I didn’t know. And the idea caused a bit of anxiety for me.

A few years later I gave it another go. A local group, that had one of my regular players, was looking for another person. I made a rogue-ish character. I didn’t originally mean to be anti-social and if I had a better idea of what the other players were playing, I would have been happy to create a character that would have fit with the group better. Instead, I created a character that I wanted to experiment with. He was a bit of a jackass, especially when someone became too high and mighty for his liking. The tipping point was when my character put a little soap in the person’s water bottle (in game). I was asked to leave the group that night. I was told that my character was just not fitting in.

As a person that was already self-conscious about being gay, fat and a geek, I had just been pushed out by a group that I had hoped would accept me. After that, I developed full on stage freight when it came to gaming with people I didn’t know. I would still attend conventions, but I avoided gaming like the plague. A friend begged me to come game with him at one convention. And I just sat there and said nothing beyond what I did in combat. It was so un-fun that I resolved to not do it again.

Of course, I had brought it down on myself. I was the person that had acted inappropriately in both cases and I couldn’t really blame the other players or the GMs. They were doing the right thing and kicking the dick out so that the rest of the people could have fun. However, there is an art to letting people down tactfully.

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that creating social contracts with people can be useful when gaming. I think they become incredibly important when a new player joins your group or when dealing with people you have never gamed with before. It helps to set the social boundaries for what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. As geeks can sometimes be socially awkward, it can help them develop into better people and better gamers. Remember, not everyone understands social cues given by other people and may not realize that what they felt was harmless actually crossed the line.

This is where Wheaton’s Law affects the GM as well. Knowing how to tactfully handle a Dick is important, lest you become a Dick as well. I am a firm believer in a three strike policy, with open communication between all parties. If you have a player that is being a Dick or is creating an environment that is not fun for others, gently help them understand specifically what they did and how it impacted other people. Give them a warning that it isn’t appropriate. This may also be a good time to discuss the possibility of creating a new character, if the action/event/what have you was appropriate for the character but inappropriate for your game. If you have created social contracts with the group revisit them. If it happens again, repeat the process. Some people are slower to learn than others. Provide another warning. If it happens a third time, explain the situation that you are in. And explain with great care and compassion that the style in which the player is playing is not appropriate for the story that the group is telling.

Do I think that there are situations where the three strike rule should be over looked? Absolutely. If the person is purposefully taking actions to harm (mentally or physically) another player then it is important to address the situation right away. And depending on what it is, it may be appropriate to explain that because of their conduct they are not welcome at the game. But be mindful. In many cases, the player is a friend and can be hurt by how you break it to them. Don’t be afraid to have the tough conversation, but approach it in a mature manner. Ask questions to gain a full understanding of why they did/said what they did. As the GM, you are the leader in many cases and you need to watch out for your group.

There are also some instances where you may not have time to provide them with three – strikes. Conventions are a great example. Generally, you have four hours to run your game and that is it. A Dick can be king in these situations, as they are free to do, say and act however they feel without regards for anyone else at the table. I don’t have any personal experience in this area, as I only started gaming at conventions again this year and only in one game. However, my gut reaction to this is to address the situation right away. I think calling a five minute “bio” break can be useful and provides you a chance to talk to the Dick. As a player, I would rather it be dealt this way than to be miserable for the remainder of the game.

Sometimes, as a player, you have to handle a GM that is a Dick. Having been a player in game where the GM was a Dick, I know this can be difficult. However, it is important to let them know they are being a Dick. I made the mistake of letting it brew inside until I just needed a break and considered leaving the game over it. I realized this wasn’t really fair to everyone involved and finally worked up the nerve to talk to my GM. For those that may not know, I don’t really like conflict especially with friends. But sometimes conflict can’t be avoided.

Again, approach is important. Sure it is easy to be passive aggressive about it and make snide comments to the GM. But this can shift the Dick mantle from the GM to you. I am a fan of the idea that cooler heads will prevail. For me, that means take a day or two after the even to think about it. Weigh in on whether you are just being sensitive or if it was really an issue. Then talk with the GM. Be polite and as tactful as possible. Explain your side of what happened and how you felt about it. A polite GM should be able to handle it. But make sure that you are both talking about it. I have ADHD and sometimes, you are talking and as much as I want to be paying attention, my mind might be thinking about three dozen other things at the same moment. If your GM is like me, it is also a good idea to follow up a few days later or even right before the next game.

Gamers are people and sometimes people have off days. Remember that the other person may not be meaning to be a Dick. Their action may just be them trying to lash out because of issues in their personal life. Just as in any relationship, open communication and a willingness to listen will be your best friend.

How do you handle Players or GMs that are Dicks? Please share your experiences using the comments below.  

Mature Gaming - Play Responsibly

I have been gaming for the last 20 years. When I first started, it was all about hack and slash dungeon crawls. The only thing I wanted was enough experience to level up and get more loot (preferably cool loot). Slowly, but surely, we added more to the game. First we added puzzles and riddles. Then we added more role playing and less roll playing. Then one day, without warning, we added adult situations.

I was probably 17 or 18, old enough to go to an R rated film on my own. I still remember the game. At the time, my game of choice was Vampire: the Masquerade. We were starting a game in the Dark Ages and a good friend decided to make a child vampire. When he first proposed the idea to me, I thought it would be cool. Then came the moment where he introduced himself to the party. He had been a vampire for a bit, and it had really twisted him. And how he described himself was so vivid that it caused some of the other players to feel uncomfortable. After the first game session, some of them complained to me about their new pack mate. I talked with him and asked him to tone it down. As the game progressed, he would set in motion these truly horrific things. I was fine with them, but again other players were not and we eventually lost two of them because of it.

I didn’t realize then that for some folks, the world of the imagination can become real. It can cause nightmares. And in some cases it can push buttons that trigger emotional responses. It never occurred to me, because during that game, I knew it was fiction. I was aware that it was just a game and inside I chastised the players that were uncomfortable.

About a year ago, I found myself in a similar position. This time, I was a player instead of the guy in charge of the game. And instead of being haunted by the actions of another player, I was instead tormented by the actions of our game master. He wasn’t graphic about what happened to one of my fellow players. But the end result was known to us all. And I became so upset by it I didn’t want to return to the game. It wasn’t even my character, but I felt violated by the words and imagination of another person.

I have shared these stories with other gamers and have met with differing responses. Some have shared that adult situations like these have no place in a game where the goal is to have fun. Others have said that it was good that things happened, but that how they were handled was poor. I agree with both of these.

Most of us game as a past time, something to do to escape our daily lives. A time to gather with friends and enjoy the stories we tell together. And depending on the group, moving your game into mature territory can be fun and rewarding. Sometimes it can provide a way to work through things that have been bothering you or help you figure out how to handle something. But knowing where the line is and knowing how to deal with it is key.

One of the best suggestions I ever received on this topic is the idea of creating a social contract between the players and the game master. Basically each player shares what they are totally ok with, what they might have issue with, and what they absolutely don’t want to have happen to their character or someone near them. I think taking one night, perhaps after you have created your character but before the game has actually begun, to discuss these as a group is crucial to the success of the game. This helps the GM to know where his/her players are at as well as what each individual’s social boundaries are is important. And it may happen that during this time, the group decides they want to keep the game G, PG or PG-13. And that is fine.

Now the thing about using social contracts is the understanding that everyone has the right to change their minds. A player may encounter a situation that you have presented that tweaked them the wrong way. Sometimes a scene or even a reaction to something in the scene may set someone off in a way that was unexpected, even by them. Be prepared for this. If you have an intense scene that happens, take a break afterwards. Check in on your players and see how everyone is doing. Your group may be used to playing for 4 hours a night and you are only an hour or two in. But you may need to stop where you are and just talk. This is ok. Also, for those people that are snobbish about staying in character during the game, understand that sometimes after a really vivid scene people may need to just crack jokes and laugh. Everyone handles stress differently. Most importantly, don’t do what I did. Do not use your own social or moral compass to decide when enough is enough.

I personally don’t think that gamers should shy away from the tough subjects. When you are in a group of friends, this type of gaming can be therapeutic in its own way. It can allow you to deal with things from your childhood, issues that get your goat, or even make you realize that you do have a heart after all. But each group is different and the most important thing is to understand the dynamics of the people you are with and prepare appropriately.


If anyone has additional comments regarding mature gaming, feel free to comment below. I hope to be running a panel on this topic during MisCon 27 and would love to hear what other people think.