Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Election Reaction

My therapy is my writing. Please understand that I am raw, emotionally and mentally. If reading this helps, then I have done my job. If you want to contradict and argue with these emotions, do it somewhere else. I had to take a mental health day to try to come to terms with this election and what it may mean for my family and community. Today, I have watched and read many reactions to this election. I have seen friends posting suicide notes, while other friends crack a beer and laugh.


November 9th, 2016

I have never had to use my protected time off work on the day after an election. At the same time, I have never been so terrified to leave my house. A few weeks ago, I dreamt of a Trump win and last night proved eerily accurate to that dream. The only part that did not happen was the eventual reveal that Russia had ensured his win and that Trump’s cries of a rigged election were silent pleas for help. But now we are on the precipice of a Trumpian era.

Anger. Frustration. Fear. These are feelings I am dealing with this morning, as I watch my social media feeds blow up. I am afraid of my fellow Americans in a way I never really have been before. I have never felt the need to own a gun and I am beginning to regret that decision. I feel like my husband and I have no real method of protecting ourselves and I do not know if we will need to or not. I do not know what the Trumpian era will do for our marriage and our rights. Will we have any kind of protection from anti-LGBT+ bullying tactics?

I am frustrated with folks who, in their absolute revulsion against Hillary and the establishment, opted to elect Trump. I get it, voting third party allowed folks options to vote their conscience and hope that their candidate earned enough of the vote to help with third party funding. The reality is, voting third party was also a way to say, “I don’t care of Trump wins.” And, for those folks who point out that if they had not voted for third party they were likely to not vote at all, an abstained vote would have also been a vote for Trump. Pretty much the only vote that were not for Trump were for Hillary, as she was the only one available that could have prevented his election. I will agree that this election certainly proved the power of the popular vote.

Anger was my companion after the DNC this summer. Polling data showed that Hillary Clinton could not win against Donald Trump. It also showed that the only Democratic win would come if Bernie Sanders was the candidate put forth by the party. Armed with this data, the DNC still opted to put forth Hillary Clinton. I definitely want a woman in President, but Clinton was not my candidate of choice. She may have won me over with a powerful woman running mate, but she opted to go with a white guy who seems incredibly lack luster. I liked her message about a strong, working, middle class. And I understand concerns about her credibility and her competency, not on the basis of her gender, but because she has made some questionable decisions. Those decisions do, in fact, make her a more qualified candidate, because at least she has political experience. Unfortunately, the Democrat spin doctors could not rally more support behind her. I think we failed when we were relying on “At least a vote for Hillary isn’t a vote for Trump.” It was an accurate statement, but the Democratic party and our allies needed to focus on action statements, we needed to focus on how a Democratic vote would benefit America. I voted for Hillary, but only because I could not vote for Trump and that is not a position we should ever be in. I wanted a democratic nominee that I could be proud to support, not because the alternative was terrible, but because they were an amazing candidate whose platform matched up nearly perfectly with my beliefs.

Numb.

What does the next four years look like? Posted on one friend’s wall was an anecdote from a colleague of theirs. In it, was shared that a friend of theirs had to go to their child’s school today after another student told them that they better pack their bags for their move back to Africa. This was from a child in elementary school. Admittedly, it is a comment much removed from me, but I believe the accuracy of it. This decision is not about adults. Our children are impacted by this decision in ways we cannot fully appreciate in this moment. We may chastise Millennials, but their entire worldview was changed by 9/11. This election and the hate before and after will echo in our young people for a generation or more. However, we must acknowledge that it is not just this election that will affect them, but how we as a nation choose to react to it.

Disbelief. I see friends posting about the hilarity of people’s reaction to this election. Or people asking for “Hillary supporters” to lose graciously. A brief check shows these messages as coming from heterosexual, white, men. None of them are in a position that is hated right now. They do not seem to understand the fear generated by this vote and my hope is that if they begin to see their friends and loved ones impacted negatively as a result of this election, they might wake up and understand that this is not a laughing matter. However, I will not hold my breath waiting for it.

How do we begin to heal from this? How do we come together as decent people and support one another against the possible backlash of this election? I do not know. For me, I must temper my anger. If I attack people, how will I be any better than Trump? If I let hate and anger and fear guide me, how do I act as a pillar of support for the people I love? Right now, I want to cry. I want to believe it was a horrible dream. That the election is still a few weeks away and that we can make a difference. I want to believe that we are all better than this and that we find a way to embrace one another and change. I want to believe that some good can come from this. Some terrible catharsis that we need in order to grow and become a progressive force for good.

I want to believe.

Friday, June 3, 2016

Hybridity in Design

Persepolis: Hybridity in Design
            Citing Robert Young, Ania Loomba points out that “a hybrid is technically a cross between two different species [...] However, in postcolonial theory, hybridity is meant to evoke all those ways in which [the vocabulary of the extreme right] was challenged and undermined” (171). In The Complete Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi presents another level of hybridity for us to consider in her use of the graphic narrative as her chosen medium for her autobiography. Professors Hillary Chute and Marriane DeKoven, in their “Introduction: Graphic Narrative” explain that “Graphic narrative, through its most basic composition in frames and gutters—in which it is able to gesture at the pacing and rhythm of reading and looking through the various structures of each individual page—calls a reader’s attention visually and spatially to the act, process, and duration of interpretation” (767).
Certainly, Satrapi could have utilized traditional literary means to tell her story, yet opted to utilize the hybrid form as a method of asking us to not only read, but to look at moments, both real and imagined, from her life. The decision seems clear when considering Chute and DeKoven’s comment on the hybridity inherent to graphic narrative: “We read this hybridity as a challenge to the structure of binary classification that opposes a set of terms, privileging one” (769). It is important, then that we as readers and academics, abide by these terms and avoid privileging either the text or image in any given cell as we consider any interpretations of the work.
In the introduction to Persepolis, Satrapi does opt to privilege text, orienting the reader in a more traditional literary form that lends itself to framing the narrative as authentic and to be believed, as she discusses the history of Iran from the “second millennium B. C.,” to the modernization brought on by Reza Shah, and lastly the Islamic revolution in 1979, which serves as the backdrop for the beginning act of the graphic narrative (i-ii). Satrapi sets out her thesis in the introduction, informing the reading that “Since then, this old and great civilization has been discussed mostly in connection with fundamentalism, fanaticism, and terrorism. As an Iranian who has lived more than half of my life in Iran, I know that this image is far from the truth” (ii).
She returns to the idea of truth in the section “The Heroes” where we find young Marji scolded for telling Siamak’s daughter, Laly, “Don’t you know that when they keep saying someone is on a trip it really means he is dead?” (48/4). Satrapi punctuates Laly’s disbelief and her mother’s disapproval with “Nobody will accept the truth” (48/8). The truth, here, is not as simple as her youthful decryption of Siamak’s trip, but rather Siamak and Mohsen’s discussion regarding the treatment of another fellow prisoner Ahmadi. Whereas most of this chapter is depicted with black walls as background, the image of torture is highlighted with a white backdrop, which causes the reader’s eyes to be drawn to the contrast. Instead of individual cells, separated by gutters, Satrapi display’s Ahmadi’s torture as one continuous image, with Siamak, Mohsen, Marji, and her father occupying the upper left corner, connecting them directly to the actions described (51/4). Siamak narrates the image, explaining: “Ahmadi... Ahmadi was assassinated. As a member of the guerillas, he suffered hell,” a statement punctuated by  an image of a whipped Ahmadi on his hands and knees, in nothing but a pair of briefs, being urinated on as a guard asks “How do you like this?” Without visual interruption, we see Ahmadi tied down while another guard whips him demanding: “Confess! Where are the others!” and another image of Ahmadi crying out in anguish as “they burned him with an iron.” Separated by a page break, we are shown an image of the assassinated Ahmadi cut into sections, like the graphic narratives story is often cut into sections, with the simple narration “In the end he was cut to pieces.” (52/1).
It is this violent truth, described to a child and her parents that “nobody would accept.” And it is this same truth that highlights that the acts of terrorism experienced in Satrapi’s life were often visited not on the foreign Westerner, as is often depicted in the media. No, these acts of terrorism and brutality were visited on these men and women by their own government. By utilizing the hybridity of the text, though, Satrapi asks us not only to consider the truth of her text, but also the messages conveyed in the image as we gaze at the torture seen. By stating that “nobody would accept the truth,” she is asking us to not only accept the truth, but be moved by it and in doing so, we might reconsider our notions regarding Iran and its position in the Middle East and the world.


Works Cited
Chute, Hillary L., and Marianne Dekoven. "Introduction: Graphic Narrative." MFS Modern Fiction Studies 52.4 (2006): 767-82. Web.
Loomba, Ania. Colonialism-Postcolonialism. 2nd ed. New York: Routledge, 2015. Print.
Satrapi, Marjane, and Marjane Satrapi. The Complete Persepolis. New York: Pantheon, 2007. Print.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Masculinity and Me.

Before reading this, I suppose a small introduction might be necessary. First, writing this triggered memories and experiences for me, so it might trigger things for you. Second, I was identified as male when I was born. I was raised male my whole life. When I was thirty, I finally had my first physical examination. After a series of test, the doctor "diagnosed" me as intersex-- hormonally, possibly chromosomally-- I am not quite XY-male. It took a little bit to figure out what that meant for me. Ultimately, it means that I am still me and still very much male. I consider myself fairly masculine, but at the same time I have my queeny moments.

The essay here presents little snapshots of my masculinity, through both fictive and non-fictive moments. I won't pretend to speak for all men, or even a majority. I also can't claim to give voice to all those who are not men, but identify as masculine. I can only speak for me and how I have been made to feel over my life. Hopefully it will do some good. 

“You’re too butch to be gay,” my mother would tell me anytime I would affect a Paul Lind/Charles Nelson Riley-esque speech pattern. Honestly, at the time, I had no idea what gay was or that these two men and the way they spoke was associated with homosexuality. It just felt sort of natural at times. Without any knowledge about what being gay was, being chastised made me feel like I really didn’t want to be gay. I just had to figure out what gay was, so I could avoid being it.

“No one likes a crybaby,” a boy told me on the playground. It wasn’t the first time I was told this, but the voice echoes in my mind all the time. Before then, most adults I knew described me as “sensitive,” or the adult equivalent of saying a child is emotional. Until then, I had no real problem with crying and demonstrating my emotions in front of people. After being told over and over about being a crybaby, I stopped being able to cry in front of most people. Being emotional became a private affair and in time even those tears dried up.

“There are three genders in singing: Men, Women, and Tenors,” said the choir director of Capital High School. When my voice changed, I had become a tenor, specifically a first tenor. I loved my high voice, before cigarettes and testosterone changed my voice a bit. But, she and her students were great to remind me whenever we had cross-town choir events that I wasn’t a real man, nor was any tenor. Men are baritones and basses. Boys could be sopranos and altos. But tenors were something quite different.

“What is that thing?” The third time I attempted to have intercourse with a woman, she was less than impressed with my endowment. She was still laughing as she left my apartment. I knew I wasn’t really into women, but I wanted to be straight. I wanted to feel normal. But, not only could I not be a straight man, but my endowment meant I wasn’t a real man, at least not to a random woman from the bar. The next morning, I woke up in a bathtub of cold water. Thankfully, my attempt to kill myself failed.

“I’m sorry, but you won’t be able to father any children.” My world crashed down when my doctor told me. Growing up, the one consistent dream for my future was that I would be a father. When I turned thirty, I finally had a physical examination. The doctor was concerned when he had difficulty finding my testicles and explained that I had hypogonadism. After a battery of tests that found that my testosterone level was significantly lower than the “normal” range for men. The hormones for body hair was perfectly fine and all of the other pituitary hormones were fine. This was the first time the word intersex was used to describe me.

“Well, I’ve found one of them,” the radiologist had been called in because neither the student tech nor the regular ultrasound tech could find my testicles. I had slipped on the ice the day before and due to gravity and the size of my body, I had managed to dislocate both testicles. A few months later, I was given a choice: “We can leave them where they are, We can open you up and pull them down and stitch them into place, but they won’t be able to protect themselves. Or, we can remove them completely. If they can’t regulate their temperature, there is a higher chance of cancer, so you may need to have them removed anyways.” Right now, they are still dislocated.

“Don’t be such a pansy.” While I have spent almost three decades subduing externalized emotions, such as tears and crying, I can be quite passionate at times. She, my boss at work, didn’t realize what she said or how it might affect me. I had made the mistake of voicing emotion, even without tears in my eyes. But it was clear that as a man, I shouldn’t feel anything. Or if I do feel something, I shouldn’t say anything. No one wants to hear a man express his feelings.

“You know that’s not healthy.” After being told by several friends that I should go see a therapist, I finally decided to reach out and get help. It was easier to talk to her about being raped by a friend and that my father abandoned me when I was quite young, than t talk with her about crying. As we were finishing our work on the primary concern, I told her I have only cried three times as an adult. I know it isn’t healthy, but I don’t know how to do it any more. Even if I did know how to do it, who would care?

“You’re a misogynist.” All I said was that I am frustrated by the #MasculinitySoFragile movement. We are all fragile. We can all be broken. Treating all men as if there is only ONE form of masculinity misses the point and puts us all in a box—often a box we don’t belong in. This isn’t about #NotAllMen. We’re told that people understand that it is a small majority who are toxic, but too many people lump all of us into toxic masculinity. They don’t seem to realize the microaggressions that take place every day, the little jabs that happen every day. But we have to toughen up, soldier on, no matter how much the constant bombardment of images, memes, hashtags, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, words. They hurt, but Chin up. Don’t let them see that they are getting to you. Don’t let them win.

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” There was a time when I hoped someone would say this. While I am not suicidal these days, there is someone who is. Someone who has been told over and over that he has to fit into a box—a box that is now belittled—that he never fit in. He has to sit and listen as people poke and prod at who they think he is because of his beard, his chest hair, his penis. If they only knew that at night he wrote poetry that he was too afraid to let anyone see. He cried himself to sleep because no one would listen to him. They always said he was the tough guy, because he stood 6’3” and spent time lifting. Thing is, he lifted because it hurt and pain was the one way he knew he was real. His sweats are crisscross scars from years of cutting. In death, maybe someone would notice that he’d been hurting and no one allowed him to heal.

We worry about toxic masculinity, but we forget how toxic our criticism can be to those who experience and live other types of masculinity. We reach out and slap others down for trying to put people in a box, but then we put certain people in a box and label them. We want men to be able to communicate, but silence them. We want them to express emotions, but we offer little compassion. In order to heal the toxicity, we need to help men be the people we want them to be, not tear them down for any perceived flaw. We need to remember that just as there is no universal sisterhood, whereby all women can be lump together, there is no universal brotherhood. There is no set standard for masculinity that all men can be judged by.

This should not be construed as a Men’s Rights Activist manifesto. Men have plenty of rights and privileges conferred on us just because we have a penis. Instead, this should be read as an appeal. That many of us are hurting and feel trapped. We can’t deny that we are men, but we also don’t like that our bodies lump us into a box that seems so terribly despised. I understand, there are some that specifically want men to feel as powerless as women have felt. To be universally treated because of your sex/gender. What does a win look like from that perspective? Men lashing out because no one taught us how to deal with our emotions? Suicides because we feel trapped?  How do we get it to stop? To begin the healing?



Friday, April 8, 2016

Creating Safe Spaces

I really planned on working on my term papers that are due in t-minus three weeks. Yet I keep seeing things that pull my attention away from the papers. Sure, I probably didn’t need to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race this week, but it helps me unwind and switch gears. And I will admit that I should probably just turn off my FaceBook account when I am in crunch mode. The real distraction comes from various posts and articles I read where women continually get treated as outsiders in fandom.

What do I mean? I belong to various gaming communities on FaceBook where we share ideas about the game, as well as problems we encounter when running/playing. Recently, a female player was discussing actions in a game that were forced on her. Now, similar discussions have been had by male players and they are generally met with comments like, “I would talk with the GM and tell him that it wasn’t cool to force your character to do something like that” or “You should probably just leave the group, it doesn’t sound like it is a very good space.” Yet, this time, voiced from a woman, she was met with comments like “You shouldn’t whine so much” and when she voiced that she would probably kill off her character and leave the group, she received responses like “Killing yourself and ragequitting a group isn’t attractive.” The fact is, this player was expressing the fact that her character had been impregnated against her will, which amounts to rape, and rape isn’t attractive. When the player attempted to point out that the people making these comments were being sexist, they attempted to again silence her using shame tactics.

When I have seen various posts about the terror of white males in gaming, I have generally cast them aside. I fell into the trap of “This hasn’t happened in my games and it must be really isolated.” The reality is that MY games are really isolated. The games I have run with female players have generally been pretty great and I didn’t think they had really had any situations like this. In retrospect, I realize that one of my games did have a female player that felt uncomfortable and she left, though it wasn’t because of something that had been done to her character and more about how over-the-top one of the players was in his playstyle. As a player, I have certainly been in games where things like pregnancy has been forced on female players and it made me genuinely uncomfortable in the moment (and still bugs me years later). Because of the group I play with, we don’t have many people that play across gender lines, so I have been trying to think if I had ever encountered a male GM doing the same to a female character run by a male player—I can’t think of any. Even if there had been, it would have been equally frustrating, unless this was something we had agreed when we began or with discussion between the player and the GM.

I can’t know what it is like for each female player out there. I can only come at it from my own experiences as a gay male. After I came out, I always set my characters as gay at creation. Most games, it wasn’t discussed because we weren’t really exploring romantic or sexual situations in our game. When it did come up, the GM would just default that all characters are heterosexual and assume that all of us would be beguiled by them (which in and of itself is a terrible trope to use, but not the point of this discussion). Once they started to realize that my character was gay, they slowly started figuring out that perhaps male prostitutes should be seen in taverns, but it generally stopped short of the GM having to act out male-on-male flirtation.

In the game that saw our female companion get raped, the GM was very tactful with my gay character. The game was set in the 20s and he had spent time researching what gay clubs were like at this time. When we would have dream sequences and such, he would discuss both the happiness of me dreaming about my partner as well as the agony of nightmares of losing him. Certainly, there were plenty opportunities for this character to experience horrific torture and sexual assault at the hands of the cultists, but that line was never crossed with me.

Now, the important thing to consider isn’t just the ways that we treat women inside the game, where all too often they are treated as objects to be played with in ways that we generally don’t with our male companions. We also need to consider how we treat them in our community. I have tried very hard, especially as an adult, to make the gaming environment and geek culture an inclusive place. I remember feeling like I was the only gay gamer at our local convention. But, at no point was my identity as a gamer/geek questioned. I acknowledge that other gay gamers and geeks may have had other experiences, but I have generally been accepted into the boy’s club. But, I have watched as women have had to prove their geek cred, by discussing at length how they got into fandom and being tested about various games. When you watch the body language of the questioners, you can see they are ready to pounce on anything that they could use to discredit her. Or they make assumptions that her geeky shirt, “must belong to her boyfriend.”

We are cultured to be dismissive, which is rather unfortunate. This comment shouldn’t be read as affirming of male behavior, through justification. Rather a simple statement of how we tend to react. Our parents, mothers and fathers, dismiss our playing pretend and sometimes dismiss the way we are feeling as ways of helping us grow up. I dismissed the various posts by removing them from my feed or ignoring them without a real thought. Others have verbally dismissed women by trying to silence their complaints. But these dismissive actions serve only to perpetuate the problem. If someone like me, or you, dismisses this type of behavior, we can’t stand up for our fellow games. This means that we aren’t actively working towards an inclusive environment. Maybe we justify our dismissiveness because we don’t want to but it or we don’t want the negative attention we know we will get. When we do that though, we are resting all of the burden on the woman who spoke up and the negative feedback towards them is meant to silence them and force them to put up and shut up or get out of fandom. If we really want to put an end to this type of behavior and work towards inclusion, then we need to be willing to step up and help shoulder some of the attitudes people will throw out there.

While there are those that will read this as me taking up the torch of social justice. And perhaps I am, but I want to be able to be in a fandom where we are all accepted— a place where we can just connect with one another and enjoy the company and the awesome discussions that are possible when we gather with people with similar interests. It shouldn’t matter what gender or race you are or what your background is. While our little playful tests to see how much we have in common can be great, they shouldn’t serve as some sort of sorting hat that determines who gets to be included and who gets to be excluded.

I want to belong to a community where mutual respect is central. This means that we aren’t purposefully trying to create situations where we can make one another uncomfortable just because we can. And if we have made someone uncomfortable, they are empowered to tell us and we are respectful enough to accept the criticism and apologize. I know this part can be difficult. Sometimes, it can feel like the criticism is targeted at us and telling us that we are bad people and that hurts. Getting called out as sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, abelist, sizest, etc., can hurt. We may not realize that what we are doing or saying sounds like that because it isn’t our intention. Or maybe we don’t want other to think poorly of us. All of us ultimately want to be accepted. Labels that “Other” us hurt, which is precisely why we use them. That little face slap can be a good wakeup call. Too often, unfortunately, it can backfire and cause people to push harder against the issue and ignite bigger fires. However, another one our social methods of behavior correction can be beneficial when a person digs in their heels and refuses to change and escalates—avoidance. We don’t like to be cut off from things, but it can be better in the long run to cut someone off and isolate them than to give tacit approval of their behavior because we don’t want to lose friends or have difficult conversations.

Whether we want to accept it or not, white males (especially heterosexuals) have power in the community as a whole. For way too long, fandom has been a boys club. And certainly those of us that have been in it for a while have endured some knocks from people outside of fandom. They teased us and questioned our manliness for playing make belief. We have been torn down and Othered for this thing we are passionate about. Those of us who have experienced that, probably hated every minute of it. It sucks to be belittled. Some of us banded together even tighter because the community we created was a safe place for us to talk about fantasy, science fiction, and all of our favorite characters and games.

It may have felt like this special safe place was invaded when women and non-white men started to find their ways into fandom. But it wasn’t. We were gaining new friends that had the same things in common. Instead of recognizing kindred spirits, some of us recognized that we had the ability to turn the tables. The powerlessness we were made to feel by the “cool” kids was ours to inflict on these new folks. And in doing so, the much coveted sense of power and control was ours to take back. Somehow, in the moment, we forgot what it was like to be the Other--- we got drunk on the power and didn’t care. This was our domain and you needed to earn your way. But no one needed to. All of it could have been so much different. While we can’t change the past, we can damn well make the present a much better place.

It starts by speaking up. Now, speaking up doesn’t mean start a flame war and it doesn’t mean we need to troll everyone (my genuine apologize to any of my readers who identify as a troll). It does mean recognizing sexist/disrespectful behavior. Whether it is inside your game or in various real or virtual spaces where our community comes together, we need to speak up and help put an end to it. While most of this post has been directed at disrespectful behavior towards women, the same is true for speaking out against people being disrespectful towards people of color as well as all of the various diverse personas we find in our community.

Also, recognize that someone may interpret your action different than you intended and they may call you out for it. I know it can be difficult, but put aside your ego for a moment and try to figure out where the miscommunication came from and work together to create a safe space.

Be sensitive and recognize that sometimes folks just need someone to listen. Don’t try to justify what the other person did or said, but recognize and validate the experience. We may not understand where they are coming form, but we can probably find some sort of experience where we can relate. Clarify if the person needs back up or if they just needed to vent. Sometimes, once we get all of the emotions of frustration or anger (or other emotion) out, we recognize that we may have over reacted and just needed to get it out. But, other times we may need some back up to help us stand up for ourselves.

We may also need to recognize that folks who are feeling alienated need a safe space where it is just folks like them. So this may mean and all female-identifying group or a queer group. This gives them that same safe space that many of originally created in response to the experiences we had. Seeking or creating a group like this does not equate to sexist or racist or any other ist (including elitist). It just means that they want to have a safe space and they may not feel like they are getting that. Also, if your immediate reaction is that there needs to be a men’s only group, remember that we had it for a long time and there are groups within the community who are actively trying to make this a men’s only group. This one especially gets me as a gay man, because this mentality is the same as folks wanting straight pride celebrations or white pride marches. Support our friends who feel they need a safe space by empowering them to do what they need and that you are always willing to act as go between or work with them when the deal with the community as a whole.

We need to recognize that there is a problem. There is this pain in our community and we all need to work together to create an inclusive space. One where people of all agents, shapes, sizes, ethnicity, races, gender identity/expression, orientation, and really just all of the things that make us unique, can feel safe and enjoy the company of people who have the same passions in common. All of the things that make us unique mean that there are all of those great experiences that we can explore and play with in our games and all of the different backgrounds mean endless points of discussion. The problem isn't going to end over night. But together, we can make this right. 

Thursday, April 7, 2016

The Shaved Chin: Cultural Imperialism and Gender Norms in Dwarves

William C. Riley
The International Conference on the Fantastic in Art
March 18, 2016
                       
            Before delving into the heavy topics of cultural imperialism and gender norms, I would like to reflect a moment on J.R.R. Tolkien’s essay “On Fairy-Stories,” where he shares that he discusses the nature of Fairy-Stories and Secondary Worlds— “Inside it, what [the story-maker] relates is ‘true’” (Tolkien, The Tolkien Reader 60). And it is this truth, within his Secondary World, that we should situate ourselves as we consider Tolkien’s Dwarves and their beards.
            From the Poetic and Prose Edda to Snow White, Dwarves have labored deep in the earth, carving their way into European folk traditions.  Tolkien pulled from these old stories when shaping Middle-Earth and crafted the prototype for Dwarves that continues to permeate fantasy literature. Instead of constituting them as simply humans of smaller stature, Tolkien created a unique race devoid of sexual dimorphism so common among various creatures in our primary, earthly, world. In “Durin’s Folk,” Tolkien describes Dwarf-women as “in voice and appearance, and in garb if they must go on journey, so like Dwarf-men that the eyes and ears of other people cannot tell them apart” (Tolkien, Lord of the Rings 360). This lack of sexual dimorphism produces a culture that challenges our semiotic understanding of beards and presents fantasy authors rich source material through which they can interrogate Western gender construction.
            Many fantasy works, unfortunately, have eschewed the opportunities presented by Tolkien’s prototype, and subordinated Dwarves by framing them into Western notions of gender. In doing so, Dwarven women in fantasy literature have been both literally, as seen in the comic Rat Queens, and metaphorically, in various other works, “shaved” of their beards. Often, this “shaving” is framed as an act of feminine liberation when, in fact, it is an example of cultural imperialism, whereby we, as authors and readers, impose our own understanding and ideals of femininity on this foreign culture.
            Under the auspices of Tolkien’s belief that fairy-stories should be presented as true, I will contrast the semiotic understanding of beards in EuroAmerican and Dwarven cultures. Through the use of ethnographic comparison on the effects of cultural imperialism on gender construction among non-European, I will also demonstrate the act of “shaving” the Dwarf-woman’s beard is an attempt to control and subjugate a race that outwardly appears queer, due to their lack of phenotypic difference between genders. By critiquing the beardless presentation of Dwarven women, I am also challenging future works to consider alternative ways non-hegemonic gender construction might appear in fantasy literature and to explore the meaning of gender in this unique race.
            As readers and writers, we need to consider our own, human, semiotic understanding of facial hair and consider how it shapes our reading of beards. As a secondary sex characteristic, androgenic hair is common in both men and women after puberty, though its placement will vary between sexes. In considering the history of beards, physician Allan D. Peterkin points out in his book One Thousand Beards: A Cultural History of Facial Hair, that the growth of a beard, along with the first shaving of the face, has been a rite of passage facilitating the transformation from boyhood to manhood since antiquity (Peterkin 63). At various times in history Peterkin notes the presence, and absence has been “a much required, enduring religious, political, and masculine symbol” (130) allowing us to clearly signal to others our allegiances and even our class standing. The shaving of someone else’s beard has been a declaration of war (19), as well as a sign of ownership (21) or defeat (20).
            Unlike men, however, Peterkin notes there has been “no historic edicts, laws, or papal decrees” governing the growth of female beards (98). Egyptian queens, like Hatshepsut, would wear “lavish fake beards of gold and silver” (17) during rituals and celebrations, and our myths and legends contain a select few women whose beard growth symbolizes “piety, sexual purity, or fidelity” (99). Despite the lack of formal laws, EuroAmerican culture, shaped by patriarchal influences, has suggested that female facial hair is unwanted and essentially non-feminine. Professor Elizabeth Grosz, in her paper “Freaks” points out that hirsute women have been categorized as freaks and relegated to sideshows to be ridiculed and mocked for the entertainment of others as a “problematized” intersection between sexes (Grosz 25).
            Unlike humans, Tolkien, in The War of Jewels, describes Dwarves as having “beards from the beginning of their lives, male and female alike” which changes the nature of their connection to their beards. Instead of being a sign of one biological sex or another, the Dwarven beard becomes a symbol of their innate Dwarf-ness and a cultural marker that sets them apart from Man or Elf. In fact, “this strangeness they have that no Man or Elf has ever seen a beardless Dwarf— unless he were shaven in mockery and would then be more likely to die of shame than of many hurts that to us would seem more deadly” (205). While shaving a human may function as an act of symbolic castration, the removal of a Dwarven beard is an act of hewing their spirit from their bodies.
            It is difficult, then, to believe that any Dwarf would visit such injury on themselves willingly. Yet, in the pages of the comic Rat Queens, we find Violet, the beardless Dwarf. When first encountered, (Rat Queens Vol 1, 12) it is difficult discern her race. Even when standing upright (14/1) she could easily pass for a young human female in comparison to her teammates, who are obviously elven and human, though the illusion of youth passes quickly as she points out, “We can sit around and bitch or we can make some monsters bleed. And my sword is hungry for blood” (16/2). Violet’s racial identity is finally disclosed in passing as the narration “[skips] past the part where Violet sang a Dwarven forest adventuring song of old” (22/1).
            In a flashback, Wiebe connects Violet to Tolkien’s prototype by providing a full image of a bearded Violet (Rat Queens Volume Two 57). In this flashback, after being consigned to model her father’s armor line instead of being allowed to fight in a tournament, due to the dictates of tradition (63/3), Violet meets a fellow Dwarf-woman who is shaved and permitted to fight (66/8 - 68/4), Violet decides to “fuck tradition” and shears off her beard (74) with her mother’s help (76).
            Violet’s shorn beard works, on terms that follow Dick Hebdige’s work with subculture, as a “construction of style, in a gesture of defiance or contempt” (Hebdige 3), but only within the confines of human cultural behavior. Acts of rebellion work within cultural codes set out by the culture being rebelled against, by creating norms and permissible avenues of defiance against them. While human males, whose interest in their beards may wax and wane depending on its cultural importance in time and place, Dwarven beards are a salient part of their cultural and racial identity, much like an Elf’s pointed ears. While Wiebe’s Dwarves may not “die of shame” should their beard be shorn, it is clearly a cultural marker, as noted by Violet’s mother during the shaving: “I remember when you first started to grow your beard. It was my proudest moment. The little girl becoming a woman” (75/5). Its removal is not just a refusal of tradition; it is also a denial of her racial identification and a rejection of her transition from girl to womanhood.
            Because of the stigma that would be generated from the act of shaving, it is difficult to believe Violet would readily remove her beard, much less get assistance from her mother. By ignoring the social stigma and treating it as no different than a contemporary adolescent human shaving their head or getting a tattoo, Wiebe is demonstrating the very EuroAmerican tendency toward cultural imperialism. Here the author, as representative of the dominant culture, is enforcing his own cultural norms and deviations on the subordinated, fictive, culture. Among human women, their choice to shave or leave their androgenic hair is a means by which they can claim authority over their own bodies, but they do so based on human cultural norms and expectations. Overlaying this action on a character from a different culture, albeit a literary one, and ignoring the implication of the action from their perspective is deeply problematic, as it carries with it implications that human norms are universal while utterly disregarding those of Dwarves.
            When examining ethnographic data collect regarding non-EuroAmerican cultures in post-colonial contact, a similar pattern is seen regarding gender construction and norms. Prior to first contact, many Native American tribes held cultural norms regarding both male-bodied and female bodied cross-gender people. In her book Gender Diversity: Crosscultural Variations, anthropologist Serena Nanda explains that at contact, Europeans “were filled with contempt and outrage when they recorded the presence” of cross-gender member, labeling them as berdache, “a term originally meaning male prostitute.” (11) By linguistically othering, these Europeans were expressing their disgust with actions they felt were abominable based on their own culture.
            In truth, cross-gender members of these tribes were not viewed negatively prior to contact. Nanda explains that “the association between spiritual power and gender variance occurred in most, if not all, Native American societies,” and highlights that “recruitment to the role was occasioned by a child’s interest in occupational activities of the opposite sex, supernatural sanctions, frequently appearing as visions or dreams, was also involved” (19). European cultural imperialism and the pressure on Native Americans to assimilate re-branded cross-gender members as repugnant, though contemporarily Native Americans are reclaiming their cultural respect towards gender variance and non-heterosexual members, using the term two spirit to describe them (Nanda 12-3).
            With our expanding exploration on the performative aspects of gender, it is time to use literature, regardless of genre, to explore its various methods of construction and interpretation. Tolkien provides fantasy literature and its derivatives with a unique race by which to do this, though this may not have been his original intention. Regardless of his intention, however, the lack of sexual dimorphism in Dwarves allows fantasy authors and readers to reconsider our expectations that gender and sex are directly linked to secondary sexual characteristics.
            An example of this exploration is presented in the Discworld books written by Terry Pratchett. In The Fifth Elephant, Pratchett explains “It wasn’t that Dwarfs weren’t interested in sex [...] it was simply that they also saw no point in distinguishing between the sexes anywhere but in private. There was no such thing as a Dwarfish female pronoun or, once the children were on solids, any such thing as women’s work” (42). Deriving from Tolkien’s prototype, Pratchett explores the nature of Dwarven gender norms through the character Cheery, or Cheri, Littlebottom and allows her to explore and establish how she will perform her gender outside of her Dwarven home. She was the “first Dwarf in Ankh-Morpork to wear a skirt” and she “retained her beard and round iron helmet, of course. It was one thing to declare that you were female, but quite unthinkable to declare that you weren’t a Dwarf” (43).
            While outwardly, Dwarves may appear queer given their lack of sexual dimorphism, they present a wonderful opportunity to explore the ways gender may be constructed and performed. Perhaps, like Pratchett’s, fantasy Dwarves don’t make any clear distinctions between the sexes in public. Or, perhaps their beards may act as a symbol of both their race and their gender, presenting authors the ability to create distinct methods by which different genders might shape, groom, style, perfume, and decorate their beards. Doing so would allow authors to pay homage to Tolkien’s prototype while also providing a space to interrogate our understanding of gender.



Works Cited
Grosz, Elizabeth. "Freaks." Social Semiotics 1.2 (1991): 22-38. Print.
Hebdige, Dick. Subculture: The Meaning of Style. London; New York: London; New York : Routledge, 1991. Print.
Nanda, Serena. Gender Diversity: Crosscultural Variations. Second edition.. ed. Long Grove, Illinois: Waveland Press, 2014. Print.
Peterkin, Allan D. One Thousand Beards: A Cultural History of Facial Hair. Vancouver: Arsenal Pulp Press, 2001. Print.
Pratchett, Terry. The Fifth Elephant: A Novel of Discworld. Mass Market Paperback Harper, 2014. Print.
Tolkien, J. R. R. The Return of the King: Being the Third Part of the Lord of the Rings. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2001. Print.
--- The Tolkien Reader, 9th ed. New York: Del Ray Books, 1979. Print.
--- The War of the Jewels: The Later Silmarillion, Part Two, the Legends of Beleriand. Ed. Christopher Tolkien. Boston: Boston : Houghton Mifflin, 1994. Print.
Weibe, Kurtis, J., Roc Upchurch, and Ed Brisson. Rat Queens Volume One: Sorcery and Sass. Ed. Laura Tavishati. Berkeley, CA: Image Comics, 2014. Print.
Wiebe, Kurtis J., and Roc J. Upchurch. Rat Queens Volume Two: The Far Reaching Tentacles of N'Rygoth. Berkeley, CA: Image Comics, 2015. Print.


Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Reward and Response

From my Gaming Blog, I talk about using a little bit of cognitive science to improve gamer connection to the game.

For many of us, gaming is a pastime, something we can do to escape the humdrum quagmire of our rather mundane existence. For a few hours, we can sit down at a table—virtually or in real-life—and we can create fictive worlds and relationships with others. The idea is that everyone is doing this because they are having fun, but as GMs, how can you tell if your players are having fun? And if they aren’t, how can you fix that?

The answer to these questions may seem obvious. “I know my players are having fun because they are laughing and joking and smiling,” answered one DM friend of mine. The problem is that through these signs your players are not always telling the truth. Certainly, in that moment, they may well have been having fun, but for others this can be a social camouflage they use to avoid attention.

“I can ask them if they are having fun,” said another friend, who went on to say, “I have a good rapport with my players and they would let me know if they weren’t having fun.” Great rapport definitely goes a long way, but remember that most people do not want to hurt their friends either. I know for me, I have blatantly exaggerated the amount of fun I was having because I wanted to save my friend and myself the embarrassment of having to say, “Dude, I hate your game.”

Some of you may be asking, then, “ok, if I can’t trust what I am seeing or what they are saying, how can I tell if they are having fun?” The answer to this question starts before the game even begins. It starts with a pre-game Q&A that you do with the individual players.

This is something that I have been experimenting with for a little bit now. When I first started running games, it was all about me. I had a story that I wanted to tell and I wanted my friends to provide the characters. The problem for this was there would be times, and they were a plenty when I first started, when the characters would want to go one direction inside the story and I needed them to go a different way. Of course, as a GM I would force their decisions to still take them where I needed them to go. The harder they pushed, though, the less fun I could tell they were having and I know the frustrations were detracting from mine as well.

The answer to my quandary came about from my own academic interests in cognitive theory and roleplaying. One of the things that we know about aesthetics and the study of why we read fiction, it is that our brain likes response and reward systems. We even use it as a way to socially pattern ourselves, providing kudos and positive rewards for good work, and admonishing not so good behavior with criticism and negative responses. If we, as GMs, work smarter, by using a similar system, we can produce hours of fun for everyone involved alongside memories that will outlive the game itself.

The first thing we want to understand is what constitutes positive rewards for our players? We want to know what their wants, interests, and needs are. I generally hate this terminology, as it is also what many folks use to determine sales pitches, but the fact is that it works. A few things to consider are:

  • What does the player want to get out of the gaming experience?
  • What are they interested in exploring during the game?
  • What do they need in order to have a fun experience?
Understanding what the player wants to get out of the gaming experience helps us put in perspective what the game means for them. For me, when I have the opportunity to game, it means that I am taking a break from work/school/personal life to get away and relax. This means that I don’t want my time wasted with unnecessary distractions that aren’t related to the experience. My frustration triggers are excessive out of character discussions during designated game time or when the story isn’t moving forward.

Taking a moment to understand what the player wants to explore recognizes one of the historic uses of roleplaying—a safe place to question and consider things that might be bugging me in the real world. Lately, I have been interested in exploring other genders and making sure that gender or race are actually important within the game. This does not mean that I need the games I play in to be filled with gender rhetoric or racism, but rather I want the choices I make about my character to matter within the story. If I am playing a bearded dwarven female, I am ok with being mistaken for a man and consider how that might affect me.

Balancing what people need in order to have fun helps to make sure that you are giving each player a little something that is just for them. One group I have been with does this by giving them some sort of in-game item on (or around) their real-world birthday. It is recognition that they are important. But also understanding what kind of situations are rewarding and fun for the player is useful too. I have friends that love riddles and puzzles, not something they can simply roll a dice and figure out, but something engages them as players to figure out. For others, they like role-playing scenarios where their choice of words can have direct impact on the game. For me, I want to feel like my character is real and my decisions matter.

A way to help figure these things out is working with each player during character creation. I enjoy writing character backstories, as they help set the stage for my character and help me figure out how they fit into the world. I recognize that not every player is going to want to do that, but if it is something you want your players to consider, look at giving them some kind of reward for doing it. An example can be an heirloom item—something they start the game with that comes from their background. The more information given about the backstory and how the character came to possess it, the more the heirloom can be worth.  Remember, rewards can encourage players. If you do this though, make sure to recognize that players are going to come from different comfort levels with writing. You might get someone like me, who details their character from birth to the beginning of the game, or a player that might only provide a list of events.

While they are generating their character, ask them about questions about what they, as players, want to get from the game. Remember if you ask make it relevant in the game. The worst thing you can do is ask questions and feign interest in the answers and then do nothing with them. I would also recommend asking what the character wants to get out of the story too. What sort of short-term and long-term goals do the players have for their character? Because I like to work with pre-generated adventures, these short and long term goals provides ways I can reward the players and provide experiences they will have that is different from what someone else running that game will have.

Keep notes about the characters and what they are working on. I have found that keeping a GM document for each player is useful. I can use this to create side events, vignettes, and long-term story arches for each player and keep them separate. I can also use those to keep track of how they react when they get to interact with their storylines. If I throw out an NPC name that they interacted with during a one-on-one event and they light up, I can make note of that. If there is no reaction or clearly negative reaction, such as body language shut down or aggravation, I can make note to adjust how I am presenting information. Be sure that you are sharing the attention across all the players—everyone wants some time in the light.

As discussed in a previous post, be sure to set aside time are regular intervals to take the pulse of the group. This is a great time to talk about what the character is doing inside the game. Have they met their short-term goals? Based on what has been happening in the game, are their new goals they would like to start working towards and are there some that they want to abandon? Because it can be easier to talk in terms of the character, versus the player, you can also ask if there are different things the characters might like to see happen in the story? This can be especially useful if you have players that can be non-confrontational, who might not speak up about what they need or want. Be prepared to adapt to the information you get and experiment with new approaches.

Most importantly, as the GM, you need to do these things for yourself too. Why are you running the game and what do you want to get out of it? Take some time after the game to reflect on what happened, what went well, what didn’t go well, and review the in-game notes you made. Find a balance that works for you and your players and you will find that each of you are getting the rewards that makes the game engaging and fun and driving you to look forward to the next game.  



Monday, March 7, 2016

A Small Departure

Not that I have been blogging frequently, but I have realized that the bulk of my writing tends to split down into a few primary themes, with one of them being gaming. Because gaming is a big part of my social outlet and a dominant source of my writing, I figured it is about time for me to split off and have a separate blog specifically for my gaming related writing. I will still be posting my personal essays on my this blog and may occasionally cross post in both places.

My intent for this blog will be a space for me to give advice about gaming, character stories, advice, and reviews. This is not necessarily limited to role-playing games and it is my intention to include content about the various games I play. To this end, I am not much of a video gamer. I have really tried to get into them, but especially as graphics improve and there is a bigger push for first person style games, I find myself completely unable to play. Give me a good side scroll-er and I am set, but alas those days seem far behind us.