My Secret Addiciton

Ok, so it might not be so secret. I am absolutely addicted to hugs. The feeling of another person in such close proximity is amazing and empowering. For me, hugging is not about being sexual (though it can build sexual tension). Instead, it is about reaching out and physically connecting with people.

This last weekend, I received countless number of hugs from friends and new acquaintances. Each one was amazing. I received small little shoulder hugs, or what I refer to as “bro hugs.” These are generally quick embraces where you press shoulder to shoulder. Sometimes they are accompanied by a slap on the back. But I was also graced with mighty bear hugs, that realigned my spine and with it the flow of loving energy that surrounds each of us. And of course there were all sorts of hugs in between.

Now, there are some awkward moments that can be spawned by a simple hug. For example, you and the other person may not know whose arm should be on top, or which side your head should be on. Both of these can cause little bumps that make both people blush. Maybe one or both parties have been fairly active and are a little sweaty. Body odor happens, even thru the toughest deodorants. Embrace these embarrassing moments and don’t make a big deal out of it.

I can’t seem to be around people without feeling the need to hug someone. Perhaps I see someone that is having a rough day. A hug is the ultimate pick me up. It can make a shitty day better. And for some people, it may be the silver lining that they needed. There can also be those hugs that help someone celebrate something great. Those are the ones that can spread their energy and excitement to you or just give you a way to hold on to that moment for a few seconds longer. And sometimes hugs just because it is Tuesday or because you woke up this morning. I am in favor of not needing a reason to hug.

I have also been caught off guard by hugs. A recent addition to my long and growing list of friends managed to completely surprise me. He is an older guy and a little gruff at times. We work together on a volunteer project. Prior to the hug happening, I had never seen him hug anyone else in our project. And then one day, bam, a big ole bear hug. It felt good, but without thinking about it my whole body went rigid. I was shocked. He has teased me about that hug several times, trying to find out why I reacted the way that I did. At first, he thought I was being heterophobic. That was not it. I hug many straight men. He suggested other reasons. And I realized that it had everything to do with his age. Somehow, I had gotten caught off guard by getting an out of the blue hug from someone that is a bit older than me (I am a good kid and have never asked his age).

Of all the things we could be addicted to, I suppose hugs are one of the best. For me it doesn’t matter whether the hug is a little awkward, used to emotionally charge someone or whether the hug serves as a catalyst to coming to terms with things you weren’t comfortable with. Everyone could use a hug.